Writer Mama Dreamer

Inching Back to the Game

2012-01-22T12:30:00.000-08:00

Hello friends,

Here are a few tidbits since I am missing you, and a meaningful post feels out of reach at the moment.

*New Jersey is extremely cold. My toes are freezing just from sitting too close to the window. But we had our first snow of the year this weekend and that was a joy for our whole family.

*I got to meet my sweet bloggy friend Faith Hough at an SCBWI event last November. It was SUCH a surprise, and SUCH a treat! (I also got to meet her husband and baby, which was a lovely bonus.) Here is a pic of us just after listening to a talk by Cheryl Klein.

Yes, I look a little sleepy! But I was so SO happy to meet a friend I had only known on the blogosphere. All my suspicions that we would get along famously came true! Faith is wonderfully kind and smart and such a great mom. I hope to see you again very soon, Faith!

I knew Cheryl was going to be brilliant, but I was still not prepared for how fast my pen would have to move to take notes! It was an amazing, information-packed lecture on plot, and I am still processing all the great stuff I learned.

*Send me writing juju! I am bushwacking through a first draft a new manuscript and it is painful sometimes. I love the moments of magic, but they are few and far between right now. Falling in love (however slowly) with a new set of characters feels like betraying my old ones. Figuring out a new plot feels like reinventing the wheel. Haven't I done this before? Shouldn't this be getting easier?

*Moving is hard. And I miss home. But I am embracing the blessings of my new place in the world. As a very wise person said to me before I moved, "You're going to find out who you are there. You already know who you are *here*. But you need to find out who you are there."

How are things going with you?

Why I suck at everything right now

2011-11-30T09:19:00.000-08:00

Hi there,

As you know, I just moved across the country. It would be an understatement to say that it has been a MAJOR stress on our whole family. We're reinventing the wheel, basically. Trying to find our way around a new town, finding new doctors, classes, restaurants, stores, and everything else. Finding new rhythms, new friends, new ways of doing things. Instead of moving forward with goals like: writing a novel, teaching the kids French, and making homemade holiday gifts... we're pretty much just coping. We're helping the kids with all the changes, and making time to process it ourselves. It's hard, but necessary.

So... pretty much everything else has gone to hell in a hand-basket! I'm trying to be satisfied with making sure everyone eats, is relatively clean, and has something useful to do every day. Beyond that, I suck at everything: writing, blogging, exercising...

I didn't do NaNoWriMo. I had such grand visions for myself! But I realized a few days into November that I needed to keep my focus on my family. I felt like this wonderful magic train was racing by... I could feel the wind it was generating, and hear some of the music and laughing voices inside, but I just couldn't get on it. Not this year.

But it's OK! The beauty is that I know I did the right thing. And I am slowly getting my groove back. We are building a new life, and that takes time. In addition to all the challenges, there have already been lots of blessings: my husband loves his new job. We love our new home and our new neighbors. Everyone is healthy. And the sun is shining today!

Anyone else out there going through big transitions? If you are, hang in there. Know that you have my compassion. I'm trusting that all this will be a catalyst for growth and positive changes.

Take care, everybody! I'll check in again soon.

New York!

2011-10-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!

Well, here I am in New York City. CRAZY!!!! I cannot believe that I actually live here now. I am a Seattle girl, through and through, so it was really a long shot that we would ever actually make this move. But, we did it! My husband is LOVING his new job, the kids and I are adjusting slowly our new life, and we're just taking things one day at a time. The hardest part is how much we miss our family and friends. But, we're starting to get excited about all the things we can see in this vast, amazing, wacky city. I already caught a glimpse of the new Freedom Tower under construction and that was COOL. I have a whole list of things we're going to try and see this week so, I'll keep you posted!

Meanwhile, I'm just starting to get my writing groove back. Anyone else out there thinking of doing NaNoWriMo? If you don't know about National Novel Writing Month, here is a link to the website. You write 50,000 words during the month of November and people ALL OVER THE WORLD are doing it with you! You get pep talks from famous writers, and you record your word count every day so you can actually SEE the progress on this handy dandy little graphic they have. It's not for everyone, but I definitely credit NaNoWriMo with "giving" me my novel a few years ago. I finally just wrote it all out, with very little self-editing. It was great!

So, let me know if you're joining me on this quest and we can share the joy and the pain of forcing yourself to write almost 2,000 words a day. I am furiously outlining right now, so I'd better get back to it. I leave you with a little Frank Sinatra, to celebrate my new city. Cheers!

So Much to Tell

2011-09-15T23:27:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO sorry to have been gone so long. I keep thinking that, after all this time, I have to write something MAGNIFICENT and scintillating to make up for my blog silence. But enough is enough! It's time to break the ice. It's better to write a mediocre post than no post at all. (Right? That's right, isn't it?)

So, a lot going on over here. I went to the wonderful-amazing-INSPIRING-and-glamorous SCBWI conference in Los Angeles. I have a bajillion pics and stories to tell you from that! Highlights: meeting one of my heroes, Bruce Coville; dancing the night away at the 40 Winks Ball; anything that had to do with hearing Libba Bray speak (she's a goddess); and spending time with my soul sister Dawn Simon.

I joined the advisory committee for my own SCBWI chapter, which has been a DREAM come true. I have admired the folks that organize our Western Washington chapter for a long time. We are blessed to have a vibrant, active, FUN, and excellently-run group so, being a part of things has been a true delight.

However, on a more personal note, my life is a bit topsy-turvy right now. Our family is relocating to the East Coast in October and I am going a bit CRAZY with planning and preparations! It's a very exciting move for us. My husband is thrilled about his new job. But, we will be saying good-bye to so many beloved friends and family, so it's bittersweet. (I'm going to cry just thinking about it!)

So, forgive me for being gone. Look for more posts soon. And celebrate my big move with me!!!!

Here's a clue about where we're moving to:

PS ~ I'm not subtle.

The Vulnerability of Waiting

2011-06-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

So... I've been thinking...

My favorite blog posts to read are the ones where people say something REAL. I find myself drawn to those like a bug to wet candy. I tend to skim past the usual internet Fluffle to get to the meatier, truthier posts. (Yes, I made up the word Fluffle. But before I go on, I just want to cop to the fact that I write Fluffle blog posts all the time!)

But today I wanted to talk about something more REAL. And that is.... the vulnerability of waiting.

When someone has your manuscript... whether it's an editor, an agent, a beta reader, or your best friend Louise (who you know is going to like it but still what's taking her so long?) it is extremely vulnerable.

What if they hate it? What if they think your precious beautiful story is predictable, clumsily written, and stupid? What if they reject you? Worse, what if they insult you? What if they have so many notes you think you might stab yourself in the eyes with your pen because you can't face it?

On the other hand...

(whisper:) What if they love it?

What if they love it so much they want to shout it from the mountaintops? What if... just maybe... your life is about to change? What if they see all the beauty, heart, and promise in your story that you have seen all along?

Either way, when you're waiting... waiting... waiting... your story is OUT OF YOUR HANDS. And that's vulnerable! So often I want to call it back: "Wait! I just found a typo on page 34. WAIT! I want to smooth a transition in the market scene. Wait! I don't want to be a novelist anymore! I was KIDDING!"

Just getting someone's opinion is an incredibly vulnerable thing for an author.

My experience is that we as human beings avoid feeling vulnerable if we can. We toughen ourselves up, or try to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter. We rationalize, minimize, or make jokes. We have a glass of wine or watch a football game or go shopping. Anything to numb the pain of being open to the possibility of being hurt. Only with our closest, safest friends and loved ones can we be truly honest. We can say both, "I'm so incredibly excited and hopeful!" AND "I'm utterly terrified!"

But let's face it, that's what EVERYBODY GOES THROUGH! We've all been there, with our manuscript in someone else's hands. Waiting for that big YES or that much-more-likely NO. Some of us have built up little protective skins (I know! We need them!) or we put on special gold shiny armor for our submission process. But, I am guessing that even the toughest submission warrior, has a heart that swells with hope and shivers with fear when she faces that dragon of WAITING.

So, in case anyone is wondering, YES, I have been in a waiting period these last few weeks.
And yes, I feel vulnerable. But here's the interesting thing about me: I actually believe that our vulnerability is our strength. Those of us who feel things deeply sometimes have a hard go of it. But we are also the open-hearted, artistic, brave souls who came to "suck the marrow out of life" and live every inch of it. The ones who are not afraid to feel. The ones who are not afraid to speak the uncomfortable truths. The ones who ride the waves of life's joy and disappointment like a rollercoaster, shrieking and crying and laughing all the way.

If you are one of these people... even if your vulnerable heart is hidden by your banged-up submission armor, I celebrate you! Congratulations on feeling every little whiff and tingle of pain and euphoria in your life. Congratulations on being strong enough to be vulnerable.

Here's what I think makes the waiting more bearable:

1. Enjoy the limbo. It won't last forever. Do something frivolous and unproductive, as often as you can! Spend more hours with your kids, go to movies, read a hundred books, paint your toenails.

2. Write a new book!

3. Let yourself dream big. Go ahead and hope for the most glorious, wondrous outcome you can imagine. Hold a picture of it in your mind.

4. It's also OK to make a little plan for what you'll do if the response is negative. Revise? Submit to others? Get your teen niece's opinion on the story? Go to Aruba and become a bartender? (KIDDING! Unless that is truly your dream...)

5. Stay in love with your book. Read it. Think about it. Remind yourself that your commitment is to your story and to your future readers. Don't let yourself fall for the myth that one agent or editor is your sole key to success. Your talent and discipline and heart are your keys to success. I'm sure of it.

I leave you with the words of Hamlet, which have comforted me these past weeks:

"If it be now, 'tis not to come;

if it be not to come, it will be now;

if it be not now, yet it will come:

the readiness is all."

I've decided that I'm ready. For anything.

Conference Bonanza

2011-05-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

Hi all!

Well, our SCBWI Western Washington conference was a massive success! The weekend was full of amazing speakers, great connections with other writers, DANCING, and FUN. So... with no further ado, here are the highlights:

We kicked things off on Friday night with KID LIT DRINK NIGHT! It was a terrific evening, and many writing luminaries were in attendance, including the gorgeous Dawn Simon (of Plotting and Scheming fame.) She and I got to help with early registration and still have time for a bit of socializing!

The next day we had a full day of amazing speakers, starting with a moving keynote by Deborah Wiles. Wow, what a life story she has! She was soulful and hilarious as she described her journey to publishing and shared some of the books she's written, including Love, Ruby Lavender and the recent Countdown.

I spent a LOT of this weekend learning about CHARACTER. For some reasons, quite a few of the sessions I went to centered around character. So, hopefully, my characters are going to be more dimensional and jump-off-the-page compelling after this!

Rosanne Parry gave a wonderful talk called Character and the Seven Deadly Sins. It was so cool! To think about which sin your character might be tempted by... and which one she would never consider. FYI, the 7 Deadly sins are: Pride or Vainglory (I really want to use that word in a book, or better yet--in conversation: "Oh, stop being so vainglorious!"), Anger or Wrath, Laziness or Sloth, Envy or Covetousness, Greed or Avarice, Gluttony and Lust. Fascinating! She also talked about the flip side of each of these qualities. For example, the positive aspect of anger can be righteous indignation. So you can kind of get to know your character more deeply by figuring out where their weaknesses are, and how far they will go on that continuum of "sin." I am now busily giving my characters interesting flaws and temptations, thanks to Ms. Parry.

Next up was Martha Mihalick of Greenwillow Books talking about Hidden Spaces: Building Memorable Characters. (Hint, by hidden spaces, she means the relationships between characters.) Martha won my heart early in her talk because apparently, she is a big West Wing fan, and... in case you didn't know this, I am the biggest, die-hard West Wing fan who ever was! : ) She talked about how beautifully that show worked, because all the characters were so authentic and complex. The way they all played off each other was endlessly fascinating, because the connections between them were so distinct. I'd better stop or I'll start talking about the episode where President Bartlet gets shot and, oh my gosh, everything is so terrible, but so GOOD!

Emily Jenkins, also know as E. Lockhart, wrapped up the day with a keynote address. There were lots of gems from this talk. But I will give you the one that sang straight to my heart. It is a quote by Roger Scruton. Emily was talking about how we love books and find comfort and escape and magic through reading:

"The consolation of imaginary things is not imaginary consolation."

HOW TRUE IS THAT????

Answer: SO true. Who hasn't received real comfort (or hope, or excitement, or inspiration...) from a book?

--sigh--

OK, moving on. I will cap off this post with our big SATURDAY NIGHT DANCE ODYSSEY!!! This was our 20 year anniversary, so we decided to pull out all the stops. And I am honored to say that I got to help plan the dance. We didn't know how it would go, I have to be honest. We kept letting people know about it, telling them to dress up or wear silver. But until that night, we didn't know...

WOULD THEY COME?

WOULD THEY DRESS UP?

WOULD THEY HAVE FUN?

The answer, on all three counts was a resounding YES!!!!

Here is some of the proof:

OK, yes, that's me. I am usually one of the first people on the dance floor. It's kind of my lot in life, my calling--well, one of them!

But you can see that I was NOT the only one in silver!!! People came! They danced! They dressed up! It was so exciting!!!

See what I mean??? They didn't just put on a silver crown, they DRESSED UP!! Yes!

This was one of our super-freaky mad scientist lab centerpieces... beakers with dry ice, and magic, color-changing water!! It was sooo awesome! (Big huge thanks to Dance Odyssey Diva, Brenda Winter-Hansen for masterminding it, and for guiding the dance planning so well!)

The other Dance Odyssey Diva, who was my partner in crime all night, was the Fantabulous

Tina Hoggatt! Here she is getting her groove on:

Look at that smile! It could light up a stadium!!!

This is my writing group! Without whom the entire night would not have been possible (or nearly as fun!) We are missing a couple of members in this pic. But one of them arrived later. They were amazing rock stars. They are on a regular basis, of course, but on this night they helped set EVERYTHING up, from centerpieces to glow-sticks. They went to get me pad thai for dinner. They arranged silver table cloths and bowls of candy! They (and our other volunteers) were truly incredible. Thanks again, guys! I love you!

There we are again! But now we've got Allyson, who should have been given a prize for her lavender spacewoman costume!! (If you are looking for an amazing blog about children's books, go see Allyson's blog Story Sleuths.)

OK, wow this is really long. I will wrap up in another post with highlights from Sunday.

Meanwhile, I hope all of you are doing well!

Happy Spring!

Bonjour!

2011-04-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

SORRY to be so absent! I miss you! I have been CRANKING, I mean, seriously Rocking Like a Hurricane doing the final final FINAL touches on my book. I know, I know... I told you I finished the revision in January. Which I did. But THEN! My genius critique group took over. They read it the whole manuscript, and gave me some terrific notes. And now I am using their brilliance to make my story shine even brighter.

I promise to be back with tales from the revision trenches, fun updates, and a big round-up of our local SCBWI conference (coming up this weekend!) I am so excited!!!!!!

(This is how I get about conferences.

TOTALLY excited, jumping-for-joy,

can't wait to learn, can't wait to hang out with other writers;

jazzed, joyful, and giddy!)

So, to those of you who are joining me this weekend, can't wait to see you! To my bloggy friends from afar, I will report back in soon with photos and stories from the conference.

Take care everyone!

Molly

This WILL be our year!

2011-03-08T00:07:00.000-08:00

I saw this typewriter in a window recently and it INSPIRED me!

I have such a good feeling about 2011. I really do. And I am taking this serendipitous image (created by the lovely owners of Assemble Gallery and Studio in Seattle) as a sign! It must be true, right? ; )

I loved this typewriter so much I asked the owners if I could buy it. (I seized the day, people!) Bless their hearts, they said yes! So now this beautiful sign hangs above my desk. I am happy just thinking about it.

So, to all you writers and dreamers out there:

THIS WILL BE OUR YEAR!

Hang in there. Keep the faith. Keep writing. Don't give up.

SCBWI Spring Conference

2011-02-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

SCBWI Western Washington is having a big anniversary this year. TWENTY years! And this spring's conference is going to be FANTASTIC! I hope those of you who live within shouting distance will come check it out.

I am super excited to see some of these keynotes. I will definitely be there with bells on, ready to celebrate and learn and enjoy the company of all these children's book lovers and luminaries. Hope you can join us!

Here's a link for more info and registration:

http://scbwi-washington.org/20/annual-conference.html

PS ~ Happy Valentine's Day!

Celebrate With Me!!!

2011-01-31T09:00:00.000-08:00

Well folks, I did it! This draft of my manuscript is DONE! Printed! Bound! Ready to go to my writing group! I am so proud of myself I could just do a little one-person parade! Woo hoo! Let's celebrate!

--sigh-- Thanks for celebrating with me. :)

Well, now that all the confetti has fallen, I must admit: it is very hard for me to hand a manuscript over. It's very hard not to see all the things I could have done to make it better. Did you notice how I said "this draft" is done? That's because... I am not sure how anyone ever feels truly DONE with a book. How do people do it? It could ALWAYS get better, right?

This was a major revision and I am really excited about it. It's not perfect. But it's going in the direction I want it to go. This was no little editing project either. It was truly a RE-VISIONING of the manuscript. I worked on it for a year. Almost exactly a year. I had all the new stuff written and old stuff revised. I wove it together and was almost ready to print. Then (drum roll please), over the last 48 hours, I cut 5,000 words. FIVE THOUSAND WORDS! Isn't that amazing? And I didn't cut chapters. I didn't cut whole scenes. That was just through careful culling. I feel so empowered by that number, I just want to go CUT MORE WORDS! : )

But, as I said, I'm handing it over. I'm letting it go.

For a while.

I'm looking forward to seeing LOTS of blogs this week in all my spare time!

Hugs to all of you. : )

I'm Not Gone!

2011-01-23T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hi friends!

Hope you all had Happy Holidays and a Wondrous New Year! I am excited to get back to my bloggy friends--I've missed you! I am finishing up a massively intense period of writing, which has been SO great!

I'm almost to the end of a huge revision of my YA novel. It has been a ton of work. But so worth it!

I've learned so much from going deep into the process and focusing my energy. I am amazingly thankful for the time I've had this winter to dedicate to writing. But almost EVERYTHING ELSE in my life has been set aside. So, I am excited to blog again! I'm excited to READ some blogs! I'm excited to find out how my husband is doing. I feel like I haven't seen him in a while...

Heck, I'm even excited to get back to cleaning out closets and organizing rooms! My laundry, I'm afraid, looks something like this:

But I'll get to it! It may take me a while. Let me tell you, even the great wave of laundry will seem like a snap compared to conquering that big old manuscript! Whew!

Looking forward to hearing how you're doing, and how all of your WIPs are coming along!!!

Final Push

2010-12-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

To those of you who have been blog friends over the past year, you know I have been working on a revision for... quite... a... while. I have gone through SO many phases with this revision, I almost don't even know how to talk about it. I've received critiques. I've brainstormed. I've outlined. I've written pages and pages of notes. I've changed direction and made new outlines. I've done tons of exploratory writing (found some great moments, and also some very distracting tangents...) I've consolidated characters, I've added characters.

I've snipped and cut and added and finessed and re-imagined and rewritten. A LOT.

Along the way I paused a few times. I turned to the experts for guidance. (Among them: Christopher Vogler's THE HERO'S JOURNEY, Eric Maisel's COACHING THE ARTIST WITHIN and WRITE MIND. And the ever-present, always supportive geniuses who make up my writing group. I love you guys!)

Sometimes I would look at the manuscript and think: This is exactly the same. It hasn't changed at all. What the hell have I been doing for the past year? NOTHING! Nothing, I tell you! (Bashes her head into the keyboard.)

Other times I would look at it and think: Oh my God, I've changed everything that was ever true and good about this book. Why the hell did I change that? I LOVED THAT! And now it's GONE!!! (Dashes away sobbing.)

As you can see, I've put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm trying not to. I'm trying to focus on the writing and not the outcome.

BUT NOW!! NOW... the end is in sight! I still have a lot of work to do. But I am going to get tons of time over the next month to work on it, and I can just feel that I'm close. So close...

So, I just wanted to ask for your support! I will still check in with the blog. I'm not saying, "See you when I'm done." I'm saying: "I'm running a marathon here and I'm heading into the home stretch!" As I sweat and stagger toward the finish line, all encouragement will be much appreciated. Thanks!

Meanwhile, let me know where you are in your writing process, so I can be a cheerleader for you too!

Hope your holiday season is getting off to a wonderful start!

Famous Novels, Goodreads, and My Own Little Frankenstein Manuscript

2010-11-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

I fell a little behind on some things last week. I had a book, a very popular, very in-demand, YA novel from the library. A book I had waited through something like 874 holds to get. And I had to read it before my time was up.

(Heavy sigh)

Folks, I almost gave up on it. It was interesting. It was mostly well-written. There were even some beautiful, beautiful moments that made me admire the author's skill. But I could not. Get into. The story. I wanted to take the ride. I wanted to see and love and root for the characters. But I just couldn't. Something in those early chapters never hooked me. Never grabbed onto my soul and said, CARE ABOUT ME!

I am not going to say which book it was. But, let's just say this book has gotten a LOT of attention in the past year. Maybe I am being a coward here but, I really don't want to be someone who talks trash about books on the internet. Which leads me to Goodreads...

I turned to Goodreads to see if anyone else had the same response to this book. And, as always, you can find almost every opinion under the sun on any given book. I like that. I like that a book might be one person's personal anthem and just a *yawn* and a snooze to someone else. I like that some people love gushy, squishy romance, and some can't abide it. I like that the unique quality of a writer's style might inspire one person to rapture, while making others want to be sick. (Seriously!)

But can I just say? People have a lot of nerve on Goodreads. They will not hesitate to cut a book to shreds. It's both refreshing and a bit disconcerting. I mean, they have to know that both authors and industry professionals are out there reading these reviews, right? Sometimes the author of a book will even comment on a not-so-hot review. Yikes. (Remind me, when I'm published, to stay off of Goodreads. Or to find a filter that only lets me see the 4-5 star reviews. Okay? Thanks.)

Anyway, what struck me about the book that I read (SORRY for not saying the title. But children's publishing is a small world! What if I meet this author one day and she turns out to be my soul sister/future best friend? I can't hurt her like that!) was that it was impressive AND flawed. It was beautiful AND bad. It succeeded on many levels, and didn't on others. And so, even if I DID have the nerve to write a review, I wasn't sure what I would say.

4 stars for sensory details, 1 star for story coherence?

5 stars for the section in chapter 18 that blew me away, 2 stars for all the plot holes?

I don't think I could properly "rate" this book.

To sum up this very lopsided post... it was actually a comfort. It was a comfort to see that even crazily popular, critically acclaimed books are not going to be perfect. Not to everyone. They are going to have strengths and weaknesses, high points and flat ones. Just like every dang book out there.

It really helped me. Right now, I am in the painful, gritty, inching forward phase of revision. I am in the phase where my book looks like Frankenstein--some new parts, some old, some stitched on bits. And I ping-pong between wanting to kiss the monstrous manuscript face--admiring its pluck and beauty, and wanting to smash it to pieces and burn it and drive over it with my car...

But I feel good now. I now know that I am not going to write the most insanely beautiful, award-winning book in history (Wow. GLAD I figured that out!) I am also reasonably confident that it won't be the worst thing ever written. (Though, again, I'll get those filters for Goodreads so I'll never be able to see if someone else thinks it is!) I just have to keep working. Keep writing. Keep believing.

Off I go.

Anyone else ever had these mixed feeling about a book? Your own or someone else's? Anyone else wrestle with wanting their book to be perfect? Anyone else have a little Frankensein manuscript? Sending hugs and KEEP GOING messages to all of you! We're all imperfect together, if that's any consolation. : )

Mastering your disinclination

2010-10-23T23:04:00.000-07:00

I recently read this in Eric Maisel's A Life in the Arts. It is an excerpt from one of Tchaikovsky's letters:

“We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavoring to meet it halfway, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination. A few days ago I told you I was working every day without any real inspiration. Had I given way to my disinclination, undoubtedly I should have drifted into a long period of idleness. But my patience and faith did not fail me, and today I felt the inexplicable glow if inspiration of which I told you; thanks to which I know beforehand that whatever I write today will have power to make an impression, and to touch the hearts of those who hear it.”

This really sang to me. I am always trying to "master my disinclination." It's funny. I have a deep yearning to write. I even feel a painful emptiness when I don't write. But still, I struggle with that irksome disinclination to write--as if it were spinach to eat or a smarty-pants foreign movie to watch...

(dejected sigh)

Once I get started, I usually realize how much I enjoy the work I'm doing. And certainly I love the feeling of having written. That is just delicious. But, like so many people, I wrestle with what I suppose are my baser instincts, those which tell me, "Sit, do nothing, don't create. Write tomorrow."

I am actually learning some good skills for counteracting this insidious pull toward inertia, the arch enemy of any artist. To bring it back to the brilliant Eric Maisel, I am reading his book Coaching the Artist Within. I can't recommend it highly enough. I will share some of the new techniques I'm learning later in the week. Meanwhile, let me know what you do. Do you resist writing sometimes? Have you found a way to master your disinclination? Or is it easy for you to jump into your work? I'd love to hear how other writers (and artists) approach their work.

Looking for a Halloween Book?

2010-10-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Halloween is a time when I am really in touch with the blessing of motherhood. I love cutting out bats for the window, carving pumpkins, and helping the kids dream up and create their costumes. I love hot cider and pumpkin soup and seeing all the little trick-or-treaters come to the door.

That's why I love AND THEN COMES HALLOWEEN, written by Tom Brenner and illustrated by Holly Meade. It is kind of an antidote to all the commercial, Famous TV Character Halloween books that shimmer and pop on the Barnes and Noble displays. (Dora, Diego, Clifford, George, Scooby-Doo etc.) Nothing against Barnes and Noble, may they thrive and prosper! But this one is so timeless it might have taken place any time in the last 50 years. It's poetic, it's fun, and the illustrations are exquisite.

I must be honest now and tell you that Tom is my good friend. We have been in a writing group together for four years and, while I wish I could say that I helped him with the text of this book, I did not. However, I have loved watching success come to such a wonderful person. Tom is kind, generous, imaginative, caring, honest, and sprightly. It's a joy to work with him and be a part of the same artistic community. Here is a pic of him reading at his book launch party last year.

Despite the fact that I know Tom, I would never EVER recommend a book that I didn't truly adore. I am speaking as a mother when I say, this book is really special. My kids both love it. I love it. It feels like a classic, even though it just came out last year. If you know a child with an October birthday, this book would be a wonderful gift.

But don't take my word for it! The famous Betsy Bird (NYC librarian) reviewed several Halloween books on her blog recently. And here's what she has to say about Tom's book:

"Finally, the book that I hold close to my heart and will purchase for my own children when I have them someday is not as showy as some of the titles I've mentioned here today. It came out last year without huge fanfare or attention. And Then Comes Halloween by Tom Brenner, illustrated by Holly Meade, however, is the most evocative picture book about the holiday that I think I've ever encountered. It's the one that I hand sell like mad and if I had my way it would be the book people instantly think of when they mention Halloween picture books. Make sure you have it in your collection as it's one of the best."

Check it out! And, if you do, let me know what you thought! : )

Happy Halloween!

Octopus Brain! Keeping a firm tentacle on every part of my novel

2010-10-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

I was trying to think of a good way to describe the mode I'm in right now. It's really positive and empowering. I have been revising my manuscript for... let's just say... a while. And I will probably be revising for a while longer. But the time I have spent immersed in the story, daydreaming, exploring different paths, and making revision notes has been priceless. It has led me to this place, where I feel very capable of handling the task before me.

I am calling it Octopus Brain.

It's when you are tuned in to every chapter in your manuscript. When you have all the characters, subplots, and revision notes carefully balanced in your mind, even the ones you're planning to cut. And when you make an edit to a particular scene, you instantly know which other scenes will be affected by that change. It's wonderful. I have a tentacle on all the different pieces and--for the most part--none of them are getting away from me. I feel like all the synapses are firing and I'm holding the whole novel in my consciousness.

NOT EASY!

However, I feel a kind of writerly athleticism. I feel scrappy and ready to make things happen. I'm at peace with the fact that it's a long process (for me) and I am ready to work. My intellect is fully engaged, but I'm loose, I'm in the flow. I have my right brain and left brain working together. It's a dream come true!

Did anyone see Minority Report? Remember the scene where Tom Cruise is moving all those images around on the clear glass screen with his fancy hi-tech gloves? He moves them faster and faster, getting rid of some, pulling some together, getting closer to an answer--a conclusion. Here's hoping my Octopus Brain will keep firing on all cylinders until I find my own. I want it to be a conclusion that rings true and feels satisfying. I think I can do it!

How does it work for you? Is it easy for you to hold long manuscripts in your head? Or are you like me, and you need months of marinating in your book before you can take it where it needs to go? I love hearing about everyone's process. Cheers!

My first ever blog rant

2010-09-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

I have been putting this off. But, I cannot do it any longer. I'm sorry if this offends anyone out there. But I simply cannot keep quiet. I am a writer. I love writing. I love reading all sorts of things: blogs, magazines, books, theatre programs... I love it that people take some liberties with language. After all, isn't that what Shakespeare did? I think we've got to be courageous and whimsical sometimes with our use of words. It's fun. It's our job! We may even create words that will one day be added to the dictionary...

But the following trend has GOT TO STOP!

I fear it never will. I see it everywhere these days. And here it is:

The Extreme Over-Use of Bizarre Phrases in Which the Word "Awesome" Serves as an All-Purpose Putty for Describing Something Good. It is stretched, decorated, misused, and flipped around--all the while trying to come across as clever.

I cannot. Abide it. Any. Longer.

Examples: "He was all made of awesome." "They really brought the awesome." "She was all kinds of awesome." And... my personal kryptonite: "Awesome Sauce."

Ack!

I am surely dating myself. I am no longer in my twenties. Perhaps, if I were young and sassy I might embrace these zany word trends. But I am not. That is why tonight, when I came across the Awesome Virus IN A PUBLISHED NOVEL, I nearly blew a gasket. Why? Why why why?!!! It's one thing in a blog, or even in conversation. But in a novel??? How could they? Honestly!

--SIGH-- (getting myself together...)

All right. Thank you for listening. Please don't think I'm a word prude, or a jerk. I really am not. It's just that one thing that drives me INSANE. I guess in some ways, I am old-fashioned. I like stories that are timeless. That reflect the core feelings of human beings, regardless of time and place. I don't want to be distracted by a vernacular phrase when I'm trying to fall into a book. I will not be so rude as to reveal which novel it was. But, let me just say that it almost caused me physical pain.

If you are someone who enjoys the current Let's-Have-Fun-With-the-Word-Awesome Trend, please know that this is not a rant against you personally. I'm sure we'd be very good friends if we met in real life. It's just that I had to get that off my chest. Anyone else have an opinion? Another phrase that you wish we could outlaw? Or a reason for me to change my mind? As usual, differing opinions are welcome.

Is the Internet Actually My Enemy?

2010-09-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am wondering this. It seems as though it might be. I am wondering if I need that nifty software that hobbles my internet capabilities. Or if I need to go stay in a distant forest and sleep in a yurt until my WIP is done. Or if maybe I need to freeze my laptop in a block of ice, so I only use it if I REALLY need to check email--and then write my whole novel longhand. Or if perhaps... I'm not sure about this... If maybe--perhaps--I need a bit more discipline.

-SIGH-

Ah dang. I'm afraid the last is probably true. I want to blame the internet. But, that's like an alcoholic saying "It was the beer's fault! It *made* me swerve my car into the fire hydrant! If only beer didn't exist, I'd be perfect!" Ha!

I guess I just need to learn how to USE beer--er, the internet--more judiciously. (For the record, I don't actually "use" beer. It has gluten and I don't consume gluten. But I have been known the surf the wine section and browse around from time to time.)

Anyway! How does a responsible aspiring writer create the best of both worlds? I want all the industry info, learning, and connection that I get from the blogosphere and my email. But I want long blocks of uninterrupted writing time. What do you do? Do you have one computer that doesn't have internet? Do you give yourself "reward minutes" for working for X number of hours? Or are you able to have your cake and internet too?

The Return of the Rain

2010-09-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well, the rains have returned here in the Pacific Northwest. Actually, we didn't have too much sun all summer. But still, the rain is a lovely reminder that fall is really approaching. And... I have a confession to make:

I love it.

I thrive in the fall. I love the cool weather, the rainy days, the sense of new beginnings. I love the autumn holidays. I love shifting to indoor activities like reading by the fire, cooking soup, and WRITING. It also seems to be the time when my muse returns. I think she takes a major vacation in the summertime. She tosses me a few vague ideas, calls me on the phone and nags me to get back to work. But she is seriously AWOL in the summer. I need to have a talk with her about this. Maybe she goes off to the southern hemisphere to inspire someone else. But she is most assuredly NOT with me at my writing desk.

Anyway! She's back

She came back in full force and, with her, my writing momentum. Hooray!

So, I thought I'd share the good news. How's all the writing going out there? Do you notice changes in your creative energy when the seasons change? Anyone need some muse help? Because I will tell mine to call some of her friends to help you out! ; )

Prize Winners!

2010-08-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

Well, the suspense is over. My sweet hubby drew names from a bowl to determine the three winners.
SO! With no further ado...

The winner of EVER, autographed by author Gail Carson Levine, is...

JENNIFER WOLF

The winner of SEA OF THE DEAD (Golden Kite Winner at this year's SCBWI conference), signed by author Julia Durango is...

FAITH E. HOUGH

And the winner of the SCBWI notecards is:

MARTHA BROCKENBROUGH

(I tried to find a picture of these, I really did! And do you know what? When you google "SCBWI Notecards" for images, the first thing you get is WRITER MAMA DREAMER! Is that funny, or what? Anyway, trust me, they are cute.)

Congratulations to all the winners! I hope you will enjoy these! Please email me at mollyjhall@gmail.com and let me know where you'd like me to send them! I wish I could have brought back a hundred prizes! Thanks to everyone who commented and participated. It is so much fun to share the writing journey with you all.

Now, I must go to bed so I can get up early and go get Mockingjay! Woo hoo! I pre-ordered it from my local bookstore. Can't wait. CAN'T wait! They called me today to remind me (as if I needed reminding).

Cheers!

Five things I learned

2010-08-16T16:47:00.000-07:00

Lessons from LA

And now for some sage advice from the SCBWI conference.
(Skip to the bottom if you just want a chance to win a prize!!!) : )

1. PACK MORE FLAT SHOES:

Well folks, most of you know I was pretty psyched to wear my cute new clothes to the conference. My daily wardrobe at home consists of yoga pants, t-shirts, and sneakers. So, I was really looking forward to "dressing" for the conference. I will admit that I brought an embarrassing quantity of shoes.

In my defense, HALF of these are Dawn's. But still! I mean, really! Was that really necessary? I became this bizarrely Imelda Marcosian woman when I started packing for the conference. I don't know what got into me. On the first day, I had blisters on my pinky toes. On the second day, I had a bruise on my second toe (this from flip flops!) and by the end of the second night (after many hours of dancing) I had a beastly blister on my big toe (which Dawn nicknamed Wendell. Is that the funniest thing ever?)

This is me soaking my poor sore feet!

KEY TAKEAWAY: Wear shoes that make you feel beautiful AND comfortable. If your feet are in pain, you will not have fun.

2. WRITERS NEED TO COME TOGETHER.

We need each other. Writers can get stressed--even at conferences. Manuscript critiques, chance encounters with publishing professionals, and putting your work out there can make you nervous. When tensions run high, it's an amazing gift to talk to a writer friend--new or old! Writer friends can bolster our confidence, talk us through a problem, or be a sounding board. I love the way we all come out of our writing/illustrating caves to share ideas and give each other empathy before we head back in.

Since writers usually work alone, being with a big tribe of other children's book writers is HUGELY beneficial.

KEY TAKEAWAY: Spend time with your tribe.

3. APPARENTLY, I AM NOT THE ONLY THEATRE PERSON-TURNED-WRITER OUT THERE

The number of Writers who were once Theatre People was astonishingly high. Rachel Vail and Bruce Hale were two of the faculty who used to be in theatre. But there were also people I talked to in the halls who had some connection with theatre. I felt like I had wandered into that bee garden, where the girl finally finds her people. (From the video "No Rain" by Blind Melon? Who here knows what I'm talking about?) There were SO many professional writers who had once been actors, playwrights, or set designers. It was very cool.

KEY TAKEAWAY: How we express our gifts and our passions evolves over time.

4. TAKE BREAKS

Yes, the conference was jam packed with useful information. There was never a time when I thought, "Ugh, there's nothing interesting this session." But still, I had to take breaks. There were times when my internal hard drive was just TOO FULL. I had to take a session off and go up to my room and either dance around with my ipod or bandage up my toes. Once I just sat near the pool and let the sun soak into me. It helped. I don't think we were designed to learn without building in time to process the new information.

Those moments that I stole for myself were really helpful to me, and reminded me that, even though I was there to learn, I had to take care of myself.

KEY TAKEAWAY: Um. Take breaks.

5. BRING BACK SURPRISES

Aha! Now we come to the fun part! Of course I had to bring back some fun things for all of YOU! So, I am having my very first blog GIVEAWAY! Hooray!!! (Also, please go visit Dawn Simon at Plotting and Scheming to check out the fabulous books she is giving away!)

Here are the treats that are up for grabs:

A signed copy of EVER by Gail Carson Levine.

A signed copy of SEA OF THE DEAD by Julia Durango. This is pretty spiffy because she WON the GOLDEN KITE AWARD for this book on the day I bought it. Awesome!!!

And, last but not least, a package of SCBWI Notecards with illustrations by Pat Cummings, Marla Frazee, Julie Paschkis, and Brian Selznick. If you are the lucky winner of these cards, everyone you send notes to will know you are a children's book lover. Something *I* am very proud to be!

(This is not an actual pic of the notecards. But it's the best I could do!)

CONTEST RULES:

1. Be a follower of my blog

2. Comment on this post and tell me which prize you'd like to win.

3. I will copy my friend Dawn's rules and say the contest closes on August 21, at 11:59pm PST

4. I'm afraid I will have to say that I can only send these to addresses in the U.S. or Canada.

5. The three winners will be chosen via a random drawing and announced Monday, August 23rd

Good luck! Bon chance!

What happens in L.A...

2010-08-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... if I'm being completely honest? Some of it STAYS in L.A...

BUT!

MOST of it is meant to be SHARED with YOU! My blog posse!!!! Yippee!!

(Look, you'll just have to get yourself there next year if you want to know EVERYTHING.)

So! With no further ado, I give you:

MOLLY AND DAWN'S

EXCELLENT ADVENTURE!!!!

There is so much to tell, I find it really hard to start. I told someone that I feel like I swallowed a shopping mall, and I'm having trouble digesting the whole thing. There were SO many marvelous experiences. I feel crazily blessed that I got to go to this conference. You all know that I had the pleasure of rooming with--and sharing the whole weekend with-- the one-and-only, the lovely, the talented, the sweetest-writer-in-the-universe: Ms. Dawn Simon. THAT was truly the best part of the conference. But for those of you who are curious about other stuff, here are some more highlights:

1. The incredible keynote speeches. The ones that moved me the most deeply were Rachel Vail (I was laughing and sobbing!), E.B. Lewis (the man has more passion in his little finger than... I don't know... almost anyone I've ever met), and Marion Dane Bauer (she spoke so eloquently about the loss of her son, I was in tears.) Other keynotes were also FABULOUS. M.T. Anderson sang an original (I think) operatic song about Delaware. Not only was he hilarious, he was a darn good singer! And Jon Scieszka was dependably funny and inspiring.

2. The amazing workshops. Every single breakout session that I attended gave me some treasure. And I am an experienced conference attendee! So, that was terrific. Here are some particular gems:
* I learned about what happens AFTER your book sells from Jill Alexander and her agent, Michael Bourret. They had such a warm rapport with one another, it was a great example of an agent/author team that seems to really be working!
* Bruce Hale gave a terrific talk on SERIES.
* Rachel Vail, once again, talked about creating CHARACTERS. To use her book as an adjective: she was BRILLIANT.
* Gennifer Choldenko on rewriting. Hello?!! This was the golden key for me. I really needed this one. She gave a ton of great advice for being your own editor and not being afraid to rewrite. YES!

3. Socializing with writer pals.
Besides bonding with Dawn, who I now consider my sister. (And I'm sad that our four days of "living together" are over. Sniff!) I really enjoyed getting to know other writers. I got to meet one of my blog buddies, the wonderful Amy Sonnichsen (who, I might add, is no slouch on the dance floor! The girl can boogie!) Here we are on the first night of the conference. (That's me on the right.)

I also had TONS of fun at the Heart and Soul Gala. There was GREAT music and I had so much fun dancing. That was perhaps the one time Dawn and I were not joined at the hip. Once they got those 70's grooves going, it was hard to pull me off the dance floor. But here we are at the beginning of the night:

And here we are with the Grande Dame of SCBWI, Ms. Lin Oliver. Lin was a warm, nurturing presence throughout the entire conference. She has given so much to the world of children's books through her work with SCBWI, I wanted to bow down in gratitude!

We also got to meet the very charming and gracious Ashley Bryan. This guy... wow. I don't know how to describe him. He is full of integrity and inner peace, but he is fiery and strong. He had us all repeating poetry--with feeling--during his keynote address. I bought my son one of his books and he loves it. Here we are at the Heart and Soul Gala:

(They passed out little hear necklaces that lit up! So much fun!)

Here we are with Jon Scieszka. Once again, he cracked us up!

Ooh! This is getting very long. I will post more later this week. Perhaps the shopping mall will have digested by then and I will be able to tell you what I actually LEARNED. Meanwhile, let me just say that I HIGHLY recommend that you start an SCBWI Summer Conference Fund in your piggy bank so you can join us next year!

I'm late! I'm late! (L.A. Preview)

2010-08-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

You know when you have a BIG experience? And it takes you a few days to really digest it? Well that's what happened to me when I went to the SCBWI conference in Los Angeles with my good friend and soul-sister Dawn Simon. It was wonderful. But I haven't really wrapped my brain around it yet. So, our post-conference blog party is slightly delayed. However, GOOD things are coming!

Molly and Dawn's EXCELLENT ADVENTURE was TRULY AMAZING! The conference was chock full of fabulousness...

There was FUN! There was INSPIRATION! There was DANCING! There was FRIENDSHIP! There were BOOKS! There were uncomfortable SHOES! And there were lots and lots of BRILLIANT people (both speakers and attendees) around us constantly.

If you haven't already checked it out, go to SCBWI TEAM BLOG and read up on the happenings.

And if you click HERE, you just may see a teeny weeny video of Dawn and me on the last day. But this is just a preview of fun things to come. We can't wait to share more.

L.A. Bound!

2010-07-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

Apologies for having the sleepiest blog in town lately. Sheesh!

But I have news. Good news!

(No, I didn't sell my book... not that kind of news... BUT STILL! GOOD NEWS!)

I am off to the SCBWI conference in Los Angeles in a few days and my good friend Dawn (from Plotting and Scheming) and I have some fun blog plans in the works! Since we are going to be rooming together at the conference--and getting up to other mischief and shenanigans--we decided to call it:

Molly and Dawn's Excellent Adventure!!!!

Yeehaw!

This is us last week. We got together to chat about the conference and make plans! (They were very serious plans. Not only did we have to figure out whether we were going to change clothes for the evening receptions (still not sure), we had to plan a time to go to the store for SNACKS. Neither of us wants to go snack-less for very long. It's really not good for a writer's temperament. I'm pretty sure about this.)

Anyway, we are going to have so much fun--learning about writing, basking in the sunshine, and meeting new friends. I am so so excited I really don't have the words. This is a really special weekend away for me, and I have been looking forward to it for months. Months!

But we don't want you to be jealous. We want you to SHARE in the fun. So, look for some bookish giveaways, wacky stories, and bloggerly surprises after we get home! (There will be some very cool writers there, who have written some amazing books, and there just might be some signed copies as prizes for my beloved blog followers.) PLUS, I am slowly inching up toward 100 followers. So, there will be lots of reasons to celebrate in the coming weeks!

As Bill and Ted would say, "Excellent!"

Picture us taking L.A. by storm! Like Bill and Ted, we may encounter some famous people, bring back a seriously "triumphant history report", and maybe even play some wicked air guitar! You never know. ; )

Meanwhile, in the words of Bill S. Preston, Esquire...

"Be excellent to each other."

Wisdom from a Six-Year-Old

2010-07-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I am sitting here in a coffee shop on a lovely summer day with my daughter. We've kept up the tradition of "writing dates" and it is so much fun. She has her lunch spread out around her. We are sipping yummy drinks and she has a stack of paper and a few story tapes from the library. I just said to her, "I think I'll write a blog post. What should I blog about? Something about writing or being a mama."

Daughter: "There's no right or wrong in writing."

Me: (calmly, despite being momentarily stunned by my child's brilliance) "Tell me more about that."

Daughter: "Like, you know when you're writing something and someone says, 'Don't write it that way! That's the wrong way to do it!' That's not true. Only you know the right way to write your book."

So, there you go. You can take a hundred writing classes. Go to conferences. Talk to your critique group. But, uh... I think this little six year old might have the key! I for one am taking her wisdom to heart!

If anyone else has a question about writing--or life--just let me know. I'll ask my daughter and get back to you. ; )

LA Conference Countdown

2010-07-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I suppose most of you know that the big SCBWI conference is happening in LA at the end of July. I am thrilled to say that I will be attending this year for the first time. Yippee! I am so excited I almost can't stand it.

They have a fabulous conference lined up, with a wonderful faculty of children's literature superstars. (I kid you not. Check it out HERE if you haven't already!) I have a long list of speakers I'm jazzed about, but the first one that comes to mind is Gail Carson Levine. She is giving a keynote called, "Sweat and Magic." I don't know if any two words could better capture the process of writing a book! I think it's going to be great.

It's a really big step for me to go to the national conference. Someone suggested it to me last year and I thought, "The national conference? Really?" I had all these questions in my mind like: What if I go down there and I don't know anyone? Is it OK to go before I'm published? Is it OK to go even if I'm a lousy "pitch" person? (I am, I seriously am. Ask me to talk about my book, and I can. Ask me to talk about it in 30 seconds or less and I stare blankly... watching the opportunity flash by.)

Plus, it seemed like SUCH a big expense. There is the airfare, the hotel, food, plus the conference tuition. It's FOUR days away from my family. Could I justify all that? Was it really worth it?

I decided that, for me--right now--it definitely is. I feel like it's time to step up to the big leagues. To go down there and get to know some other children's writing folks. To put my work out there a bit more and stretch beyond my comfort zone. Now that it's all set, I'm REALLY EXCITED!!!!

So of course, I have been preparing for this conference pretty carefully. Reading books by the faculty? Check. Brushing up my manuscript for a consultation? Check. But most importantly... I mean, come on, what's the most important thing of all, people?

SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES!!!

Ha ha ha! I wish I were kidding. But I'm not. Say what you will--I am seriously excited to be in the LA sunshine, wearing some bright new things. This is a special occasion! And I'm going to have fun with it! Besides, what girl doesn't want a new party dress???

Are any of you children's writers out there going? It would be so fun to meet blog friends in person! Feel free to email me if you're coming and maybe we can come up with a way to meet up.
For more on the conference check out the SCBWI Team Blog HERE. And, while it won't be nearly as thorough as the team bloggers, I will post my own conference wrap-up so you can share in my adventures!

Writing: The Mental Game

2010-06-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about the mental game of writing. It's so complex, isn't it? On the one hand, you have to have this mental toughness. You have to be disciplined enough to get your work done, to stay focused even when the distractions of the world are waving their hands in your face (internet, chores, meals, phones ringing, neon signs saying: LOOK AT ME!) You have to be tough enough to listen to critiques, take rejection, and keep picking your pen up again and again.

You also have to have mental stamina. The stamina to WAIT. WAIT while your critique group reads your novel. WAIT after you've queried a batch of agents. WAIT while one of the agents reads your work. WAIT while you're on submission. There is so much waiting in the writing and publishing world, if we don't have a way to focus our thoughts during those periods... we can go a little bananas. Our active imaginations can do crazy things. ("Oh my gosh, they're going to hate it. I know it.", "Oh Lord, I found a typo... the agent's going to think I'm incompetent. Not just incompetent, but talentless, uneducated, and careless!", "What's taking so long? Are they doing this to test me? Do they want to see if I'll crack under the strain? Well, I won't!")

Not that I'm speaking of myself. This is all just hypothetical

You also have to have a kind of mental suppleness. You have to be savvy, professional, and thick-skinned as you try to get published. But then--in order to actually write your story--you have to move into this soft dream-state where your emotions can float into view, and you can access the well of creativity inside you. You have to shift into being open and raw and connected to inspiration. You have to be willing to be vulnerable. To tell truths that ache. To weave the spell of a story. You have to have some form of compassion for ALL your characters in order to render them honestly on the page. And so you tap into those parts of yourself: the innocent, the heroine, humble knight, the high school geek, the goofy sidekick, the vengeful sorcerer... (I know you've all got a vengeful sorcerer inside you somewhere. Let's be honest!) ; )

Am I crazy or does pursuing this career require a VERY special kind of person? I was going to make a joke that we must all be half crazy or manic-depressive or masochistic. But I've changed my mind. Maybe we don't have every aspect of the mental game figured out. I know I don't. Maybe we are stronger in some areas and weaker in others. But, you know what?

I think we are FRICKIN' ROCK STARS!

WE ARE AMAZING! Aren't we? We are creative, tough, imaginative, flexible, patient, bright, fiery spirits. We're mentally strong. We're emotionally honest. We're in touch with the music of the spheres and the truest parts of ourselves. We're writers!

I love us!

Here's a high five and a toast and hug for all the ways we rock the mental game.

CHEERS to all of you who are writing, editing, submitting, struggling, doubting, rejoicing, questioning, marketing, brainstorming, and dreaming!

You are truly amazing.

(And, when you have a moment, let me know how the mental game is going for you. I'm interested! No matter what, hang in there.)

All my best,

Molly

Crunch Time

2010-06-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I am really busy working on my revision. I am getting dangerously close to my self-imposed deadline and I really need to hunker down. I am at the point where I need the world to just pause so that I can just be in constant writing mode and

FINISH. THE DANG. THING.

Unfortunately, my children are still requesting to be fed several times a day. (Can you believe them?) They continue to need regular supervision (Sesame Street is only on for an hour a day...) Plus, they need things like hugs and sunscreen and love and explanations of the world. It seems I am the best person to provide these things, even when distracted by twinkly fragments of story. (And--all kidding aside--I love being with them and wouldn't trade my Mommy job for anything.)

However! Almost everything else has fallen by the wayside. Laundry goes unfolded. Bathroom sinks are not what I'd call ready-for-company. Things like cluttered playrooms and struggling gardens are left alone, in hopes that the fairies might visit and lend a hand (so far, no luck). I've got enough energy for two growing children and one desperate-to-be-born manuscript. And that's pretty much it. (My poor husband is picking up the slack as best he can, bless him!)

I'm not going to stop blogging altogether. I'll be checking in. But you are such a wonderful blog community, I wanted you all to know where my focus was. I hope you are all having a great start to your summer! The sun finally came out here in the Northwest. Hallelujah! Wish me luck and picture me in a focused frenzy of productivity. I'll let you know when I reach this milestone. Then we can celebrate!

Please let me know where you are in your writing process. I love hearing about it.

Surely, I cannot be the only one...

2010-06-11T00:29:00.000-07:00

Who had some fun playing with the new Blogger design options last night? Who could resist? It's so much fun!! I hope you like the new hummingbird. (HUGE thanks to my husband for helping to make it so beautiful. I love it, honey!) I had been wanting to switch to a 3 column format. So, this feels like moving into a new blog house... more spacious, organized and bright!

CHANGE has been the word of the week for me. I've been questioning MAJOR assumptions about my work-in-progress. It's a good thing. I am opening my mind to cutting and changing and reworking things that I thought were NOT changeable. It's wonderfully liberating. (huge breath of fresh air!) This is make believe! I can change anything I want to change. These characters will do whatever I tell them to do, doggone it! ; )

It's even having resonance in my personal life. There are habits and assumptions that I use to shape my daily life, not all of which are working for me. It's uncomfortable to leave our cozy habits (and familiar manuscripts) behind. But it's so freeing. It must be spring. Or a deep hunger to break through to the next level in my work and in my life.

Anyone else feeling like an inner revolution is happening? Anyone else need one?

Happy Weekend!

The Retreat Report

2010-06-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

I'm back!

The Writing Retreat was wonderful. I cannot say enough about how great it was to have open-ended time to WRITE. I ate when I was hungry. I walked on the beach. I took a long hike around the island. I spent time with my good friends and critique group partners. It was BLISS.

I had nobody else's needs to worry about but my own. For a mother, that is so rare! No one needed me to make them a snack, change their diaper, help negotiate a toy-sharing solution, or soothe hurt feelings. My husband was at home with the kids, seeing to all their needs (BLESS his heroic heart!) Which freed me up to go BE AN ARTIST. What a gift!

Here are some highlights:

* THE INSPIRING POWER OF WATER: We stayed at a house that had an amazing view of the water. All day long, we could gaze out at the water. We tried to plant ourselves in places where we could be focused on our laptops, but be free to glance up at the water at a moment's notice. I am certain that it inspired and nourished everyone.

* THE MAGIC OF A WRITING COMMUNITY: I went with my writing group. It is SO nice to do this sort of thing with friends. Not just any friends, but friends who are dedicated to writing, and understand the need to keep your head down and not be interrupted. It would not have been as fun alone, I am convinced of that. I had friends with whom I could chat (on breaks), go for walks, work out plot conundrums, and share an evening meal and bottle of wine. If I had been alone, I don't know if I would have been as productive or creatively inspired.

* THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF "WORK". I got to go more deeply into my novel, because I was there TO WORK. That was my MAIN JOB. I could keep the story around me at all times. I did not go as *fast* as I wanted to go. Last time we did this I blazed through the final 10 or 12 chapters of a revision. I felt like SuperWoman! This time I was in a different place and had to grind through a few tough chapters--places where I needed to make big cuts and rewrite some things. But I CHERISHED having the time to do that. I absolutely love the work and could do it 12 hours a day. (I'm thinking maybe in my 50's I'll get to do that?)

* PLANNING FOR THE NEXT ONE: We talked about when we could do the same kind of thing again. It is so nice knowing that a writing retreat is in your future. If any of you can finagle a way to make it happen for yourselves, I HIGHLY recommend it. It is a wonderful gift to yourself. THAT SAID, I am more concerned with...

* DESIGNING MY LIFE TO FIT WRITING IN: As Sunday was winding down, I felt myself grieving the end of the weekend. I love my family, and I missed them. But I was sad to leave that little writing oasis. But then I stopped myself. Because the BEAUTY of writing is that you can do it whenever you can fit it in. It is not going anywhere. Even if I don't have the quiet house by the water. I have the work. I have the story in my heart. I have the drive to make it something great. And that is all I really need.

Here's hoping you all can design your lives to include the things you love most!

Weekend Writing Bliss

2010-06-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I am very happy to announce that I am headed to a writing retreat this weekend! Picture me cruising along on my work-in-progress, solving plot problems, cutting thousands of words, and having many bursts of inspiration. I am SO excited!!

It probably won't be exactly like this. But it will be fabulous. I'll give you all a report on Monday!

Happy Writing!

What makes a writer a writer?

2010-05-31T12:29:00.000-07:00

What is the classic temperament of a writer? Introverted? Dramatic? Moody? Egotistical? Long-suffering? Mercurial? Prone to alcoholism? Tortured like Sylvia Plath? Secretly passionate like Emily Dickinson? Magnanimous like Alexandre Dumas?

The answer is obviously: THERE IS NO CLASSIC TEMPERAMENT! WRITERS COME IN ALL EMOTIONAL CONSTITUTIONS!!! Anyone who wants to be a writer can be a writer. (Whew!)

But I have certainly wondered if I fit into this particular club. I will never forget one day in my first writing class. Our teacher said something like, "Well, that's how we are. We're writers, we're observers..."

And a little red flag went up in my head. I was sitting in the back thinking, "Uh... we are? Observers? I'm not sure if I can get on board with that because um... I'm not so much an observer as a PARTICIPATOR." I thought, oh dear, I'm in the wrong class, the wrong field. I should go back to acting where I can live out loud and jump around and collaborate with people..

But guess what? You get to do all that with writing. It's just different. You get to bring WHATEVER YOU ARE to your writing, that's what's so wonderful about it. I was called to be a writer. I really, really wanted to try it, and now I really, really love it. I decided that it was OK for me to be my own breed of writer. And I soon figured out that what I saw as my shortcomings were actually strengths.

So, if you happen to be--like me--sort of lively, emotional, ferocious, and hungry for life... well... your CHARACTERS will be all the more lively, emotional, ferocious, and hungry for life! It's a win win situation! Whatever you are: if you're intellectual, expressive, shy, curious, pragmatic, whimsical, brave, serious, cautious... you will bring that to your work. Most likely, writing will be a way to express the kaleidoscope of ALL aspects of yourself. Qualities you never knew you had will emerge in some charismatic villain, or a lovelorn princess. It's magical, really.

I actually figured that that I AM an observer. I love to observe people, situations, art, music, emotions, and nature. It's what I DO with my observations that is uniquely mine.

How about you? Have you ever wondered if you had the "right" temperament to be a writer? Have you ever felt like it was a club you didn't belong in? What are some of your quirks that create your unique voice or writing style? Was there anything you thought would hinder you that has actually helped?

Hope you're all having a lovely Memorial Day!

A Little Bit of Fun

2010-05-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you all so much for chiming in on the topic of TALENT. It was such a privilege to learn more about you and to engage in such a meaningful conversation. I really enjoyed it!

I am busily working on directing the end of year plays at my little girl's school and pressing ahead with a self-imposed deadline on my revision. So, this week's post is much shorter and more light-hearted. Someone sent this to me recently and it made my day. Please enjoy!

How righteously awesome was that? I think I watched it three times then made my husband come watch it with me. I hope my kids will invent games like this, based on their very sophisticated tastes in books.
: )

What action figures from literature do you wish you could have?

On Talent

2010-05-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

I have been hesitating about writing this post. But I think it's important to talk about. Most of you know that I was an actor before I became a writer. So, I have spent a lot of time pondering this question of "talent" over the years, in more than one field. In my 20's, I was convinced that you were born with talent. Clearly, not everyone in my acting classes had "it." That much was obvious. I believed that I *did* have talent and that I was lucky to be born with it. The talent of observing subtle emotions. The talent of accessing my own experience so that I could share it on stage. The talent of physical expressiveness. All these served me well as an actor, even when I was just beginning.

But my wonderful teacher, Robin Smith, was the first to enlighten me. She held the belief that skills could be grown. That the kernel of talent in everyone could be nurtured and developed. And here's what I know now. In the following ten years, my abilities as an actor grew exponentially. And I don't care as much about that early kernel of talent, as I do about the discipline and commitment it took to make that talent grow into something more lasting and meaningful.

I don't claim to have achieved "mastery" at acting. But I did set myself on that path. I got some incredible training and I worked with some amazing teachers and actors over the years.

Now, with writing, it is much the same. Yes, it's clear that some people can turn a phrase better than others. Some people have a knack for getting our attention with a story, even when they have had little training. Some people make it seem easy. As far as my own talent goes, I feel very clear that, whatever talent I may have, it is not that important to me. What matters to me is that *I see myself getting better.*

I really mean that. I see myself learning, through reading, through writing, through receiving critiques, through analyzing my own and others' work, through writing as often as I can, through daydreaming. I know I am getting better, and that's all that really counts. I'll keep working toward mastery, even though I'm aware that it may take decades.

I think that believing you have a talent can be a trap, especially if you are not up for hard work. On the other hand, I think it's very important to acknowledge that the universe (God, Goddess, destiny) has given you a gift. Because once you really see that, you have an obligation to follow it. One of my acting friends, when telling the story of when he recommitted himself to acting, told us how he felt that he "had a responsibility to a talent." This is not an egotistical guy. This is a spiritual, thoughtful guy who knew that he had a talent--and that it was a gift. And that because he had been given a gift, he had a responsibility to use it. To follow where it led. To make the most of it.

This is not a popular thing to talk about in our culture. No one wants to be seen as a braggart. However, there's also this huge cultural value of being "the best" in America. I find that people often fall into two camps: You're either brazenly confident about a talent, or completely self-deprecating and dismissive of it.

What if we could just simply name and acknowledge our talents? What if more of us were honest about seeing our gifts? What if we could say them openly, without ego and competition, in order to make a path for our talent to get out into the world? I think that would be beautiful.

I do believe that we are accountable to our talents. To acknowledge them without growing an ego about them. To pursue the knowledge, gather the tools, and put in the hours of practice it takes to develop them into something magnificent. And to share them with the world.

What do you think? Have you felt that cultural pressure to be quiet about your talents? Are you able to honestly name your own gifts? Have you ever been tempted to give up on a talent? How do you see the balance between natural talent and straight-up hard work? You know I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Here's to all of YOUR talents, known and yet undiscovered. May they flourish and grow and bless the world!

Keeping the FAITH

2010-05-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

This post is all about FAITH, in more ways than one! First of all, my sweet blog friend, Faith Elizabeth Hough gave me this lovely award:

Isn't it adorable? I just love this little teddy bear. And I love knowing that someone thinks my blog is "sweet". I value kindness SO much in my life and hope to be someone who spreads goodness and sunshine wherever I go. So, thank you, Faith!

Second, Faith was playing a fun little game at her blog that involved being "tagged" and I wanted to join in! So, she tagged me. I am answering five questions with five answers each. If you would like to join the fun, just say so and I'll tag ya! I love it when we share real life truths on our blogs--even if it's just about snacks and billionaire dreams! : )

If you are not already familiar with Faith's blog, please go check it out. Her writing is thoughtful and smart and soulful and funny and REAL. You will enjoy it!

OK, let the games begin!

Where were you five years ago?

1. Living in Los Angeles with my husband and daughter, longing for a way to move back home to the Pacific Northwest. We were SO close... but we didn't know it yet. We just had to keep the faith. (Did you catch that? Faith? FAITH. It's a theme today.)

2. I was just starting to realize that I wanted to get serious about writing for children. Within a few months, we did end up moving back to my hometown and I immediately signed up for a writing class. (Woo hoo! THAT was a life changer!)

3. I was taking a lot of ballet classes and LOVING it.

4. I was a full-time mama to an adorable little toddler. We spent lots of time at parks, on play-dates with good friends, and playing dress-up.

5. The jacaranda trees were blooming in L.A. Those trees remain one of my favorite things about that city. Amazing purple blossoms bursting forth once a year. Beautiful!

Where do you want to be five years?

1. I hope I have at least two books published and several more in the works.

2. I hope to be successfully balancing the needs of my family with the pursuit of my own career.

3. I hope to own a wonderful home. There would be a big yard with at least one cherry blossom tree and, of course, a mini hummingbird sanctuary! : ) (Any ideas what flowers I'd have to plant? I'm open to suggestions!) : )

4. I hope to be vibrantly healthy in every way.

5. I hope to feel that glowing feeling that I am on the right path. That my dreams are coming true for a reason. I hope to know that my stories are making a difference in the world--that they are meaningful to people and are cherished by readers. And I'd love to be watching my husband and two children follow their hearts toward what they love doing most.

What is on your to-do list today?

1. Teach drama at my child's school and assign parts for the big Rainforest play. SUPER FUN!

2. Go to the chiropractor for an adjustment.

3. Make dinner

4. Watched parts of MEET THE ROBINSONS with the kiddos.

5. Took the movie's theme to heart and resolved to "keep moving forward" with my novel every day, even on days when I only have a half an hour to write. Also, vowed to celebrate failures the way the Robinsons did. I want to have FAITH that my own failures are teaching me how to be a better writer. (Have you seen this movie? You MUST. It's terrific!)

What five snacks do you enjoy?

1. Tings!

2. Chocolate chip cookies (gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free... still delicious!)

3. If I didn't have food allergies, it would be warm french bread and brie cheese, no contest. If anyone out there can direct me to anything resembling vegan brie... I will try desperately to find you a prize. I can make the bread! But I fear my days of eating brie are behind me. (sniff!)

4. Sparkly water with lemon (I am not kidding.)

5. Homemade guacamole with corn chips.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

1. Build a wonderful house with a stage in the back yard, a dance studio above the garage, and a sunlit writing office with a view of the water.

2. Give my husband time to follow his passions. He has been supporting me in following my dream for many years, I'd love to know that he could do the same. I'd hire him a guitar teacher, buy him his own theatre, get him an internship at Pixar... whatever he wants!

3. Hire people to do the parts of life that challenge me the most: making meals, cleaning house, and organizing rooms. Then I would spend more time doing the parts of life that fulfill me the most: playing with my children, singing and dancing with my hubby (can you tell we are an artistic family?), making up stories, and being with my extended family and friends.

4. Pay off student loans and start a fund to support other creative types in getting an education. (Also pay for my own little tykes to go to college!)

5. Donate to charities that help children.

(I could go on and on with this one! I'd also take my family around the world--Paris! Ireland! Norway! Greece! I'd buy a vacation house in Ashland, Oregon so I could go to the Shakespeare Festival every year... I'd also like a few new clothes... OK, I'll stop.)

Wow, this has been WAY more fun that I thought it was going to be. Hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better! Have a great week!

Shiny Happy Blog Awards

2010-05-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well! I keep looking for the right moment to share my fabulous new blog awards. And it seems the moment has come!

Yat-Yee Chong gave me this little beauty:

Isn't this the best picture?? I just love it! I think she shared it with me when I was being a bit more prolific. So... I'm inspired to get back to blogging more regularly. Yat-Yee has a terrific blog, which you should go check out. But don't be confused, we have the exact same template, so it will look verrry familiar. : )

Thanks, Yat-Yee! I treasure this!

Then, I was surprised and delighted to get this snazzy little award:

This is from the lovely Samantha Bennett over at Show and Tell. (If you really want to see a stylish blog, go check hers out!) I really like this one because... how can I say this? Fashion has never been my strong suit. I have never had the gift of being edgy or cool or designer-savvy. But Samantha liked my hummingbird! So, there's a point for just being yourself. It shines through! : )

Thanks so much, Samantha!

I am a notorious rule-breaker when it comes to blog awards. I am sure there are things I am supposed to do with these, like pass them on to esteemed and talented blog-colleagues. But for the moment, I am going to plaster them up here on my blog and get back to writing. (This is fascinating. Because in life I am NOT a notorious rule-breaker! I'm a compulsive "good girl". I'm loving how devilish this makes me feel... hee hee hee.)

Meanwhile, thank you all for your words of advice in getting UNSTUCK. Your ideas really helped!
Hope you all have a joyful Wednesday!

Story Arcs, Character Destinies, and other things you can't Google...

2010-05-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Hi.

Some of you may know that I am in the thick of an intense revision. It is FUN. It is exciting. It is fulfilling... And it is flippin' mind-squishingly HARD! I can't say it any other way. It is HARD. And it takes a long time. And it is hard.

Did I mention that it's hard?

Because it's hard.

I have sat bug-eyed at my computer, wondering HOW to fix something. WHAT should happen next to my main character? How can I weave this new stuff in while keeping the integrity of the original story?
And sometimes--yes, I confess to being a pawn in our technology-obsessed culture--when I've been struggling with a particularly difficult plot puzzle, I have actually had the impulse to "Google" it.

Me (inside my own head): "Argh! I don't know which path my character should take... maybe I should google it."

Me (after I come to my senses): "Oops. Uh... right, that's impossible. Yup, I forgot, you can't do that. Uh... never mind."

This impulse usually happens in that misty place where I'm not quite thinking clearly. I just know I have to turn somewhere for an answer. And sometimes my first thought is... Google! : )

It's OK, you can laugh. I don't blame you! It's funny! In this INSTANT INFORMATION era of computers, you think you can find out ANYTHING: what time the coffee shop closes, the exact lyrics of "Big Old Jet Airliner," or the latest gossip on Sandra Bullock. (On that last note: GO girl! I hope she and her son are surrounded by happiness from now on!)

But, mining the vaults of your creativity is one thing Google cannot do.

That is something that only a thoroughly human, flawed, complex, inspired, hard-working person can do. So, I'm celebrating that tonight. Isn't it miraculous? We, with all our quirks and distractions and imperfections, can do something that these high-falutin' computers canNOT do. In fact, we humans are the ONLY ones who can make stories. (Take that, technology!)

So that's helping me through this difficult patch. The reminder that ALL writers are human beings. Every book that has ever sat upon a shelf in a book store, has gone through this intense, impossible-seeming thing called revision. And I want my book on those doggone shelves! So, I'm keeping at it. : )

What kinds of wacky things have you done when you feel creatively blocked? Stand on your head? Do the twist? Vogue? Do a sketch with your non-dominant hand? Consult the tarot? Stand up and act like your characters? I'd love to know I'm not the only one prone to moments of writerly loony-ness!

Thanks!

All Creative Energy Focused Elsewhere...

2010-04-27T11:36:00.000-07:00

SORRY for being absent for a few days! I miss my blog buddies! But I am in a busy work mode right now and all my writing energy is going toward my two novels. Not a bad thing, actually! I will be back in full swing, hopefully next week. Meanwhile, I leave you with the words of another one of my idols.

"Anything that we can do to help foster the intellect and spirit and emotional growth of our fellow human beings, that is our job. Those of us who have this particular vision must continue against all odds. Life is for service."

Fred Rogers

(aka, the coolest guy in the world)

I hope this gives you some inspiration!

Take care and Happy Writing!

"Fezzik, tear his arms off"

2010-04-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Another Princess Bride reference!

I am at that point in the revision where I have to actually remove big chunks of story. Scenes I once loved--scenes I still love--must be cut in service to the greater good. I know I am making the story tighter, better, stronger, and more focused. I know I'm supposed to "kill my darlings." But it hurts!

There's a scene in Princess Bride when they are trying to get into the castle to rescue Buttercup.

WESTLEY: Give us the gate key.
GUARD: I have no gate key.
INIGO: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
GUARD: Oh you mean this gate key.

: )

Ha ha! I love it! It's a great scene. And as I stare at my manuscript, ready to make these drastic changes, smile as I imagine Inigo's voice in my ear:

"Molly, tear its arms off."

I can do it. I know I can. I can cut words! I can cut chapters... I can tear the arms right off this manuscript if I have to! (I'll replace them with better arms... bionic arms!) I just have to get through this part.

This is such a flawed metaphor but, let's hope it gives me "the key" to finishing the revision! Wouldn't that be something?

How about you? Is it emotionally painful for you to cut parts of your manuscript? Any great stories about miraculous "aha" moments when a cut led to a wonderful breakthrough? (Don't say cut the first half, do NOT say cut the first half...)
; )

Also, I want to say a special hello to all my new followers! Thank you so much! I love making new blog-friends. Forty followers feels like a fabulous number. It's great to have you!

Cheers!

Guidance from a Goddess: Meryl Streep

2010-04-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

You all know that I am a theatre person. So you won't be surprised to find that my Ultimate Idol in life and work is Meryl Streep.

(Photo by Brigitte Lacombe-for Vanity Fair)

I have been coming down off the SCBWI Conference high, and re-entering my normal life as a mother who has to do laundry and make meals in addition to writing books. As you know, conference attendees don't have to do silly things like that. We just dress up in ironed clothes and stand in the buffet line. Someone else cooks and cleans up. We conference attendees are busy learning about writing and focusing on our dreams. (You see why I wanted to stay for an extra week!)

As you may also know, I am on a constant quest to unify my life's vision so that both writing and mothering are given time and energy. After the conference, it was hard not to feel a bit of letdown. I had a few days of intense longing for more writing time and some low points of wondering HOW can I juggle it all? HOW can I make this all work together?

I came across this quote by the phenomenal Meryl Streep today, and it helped me. I thought it might inspire you too:

"I have a holistic need to work and to have huge ties of love in my life. I can't imagine eschewing one for the other."

She also said:

"Integrate what you believe in every single area of your life. Take your heart to work and ask the most and best of everybody else, too."

Can I get an "Amen"?

That is what I am going to do this week. Integrate what I believe in every single area of my life. I know that the heart of my parenting is the same as the core of inspiration I bring to my writing. Both are about bringing more light and goodness into the world.

The task now is to bring a sense of play and imagination and affection and patience to BOTH quests. Quite often it feels like my life (mothering, family time) and my work (writing) are opposing forces. I am excited to start weaving them closer together and seeing how each one can feed and nurture the other. Wish me luck!

How does this balance work for you? What are some ways you unify your life and your work? What are the common threads between the two? Do you have key ideas or beliefs that guide you in both spheres? I am most definitely fascinated by this topic.

(And P.S. - What's your favorite Meryl Streep movie? Mine is OUT OF AFRICA.)

SCBWI Rocks!

2010-04-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

OK, here it is at last, the conference lowdown! If you saw my last post, you know you can head on over to the Chinook Update to get details on the terrific keynotes and breakout sessions. It was such an amazing conference. I can't say enough great things about it. I could go on for hours, but will try VERY hard not to.

First of all, going to a conference is like entering into a dream world for me. My hubby takes over with the kids for two days (PLUS Friday night!), I get to dress semi-nicely, spend time with other writers and book-lovers, and drink in all the learning, inspiration and creative energy. It is like Shangri-La! And the Western Washington SCBWI chapter is absolutely lovely. They always put on the most smooth-running, upbeat, enriching conferences. It's phenomenal. Truly. THANKS to all who helped make it happen!

This is me with three of my dazzling, brilliant writing group members, Lori, Allyson, and Elizabeth (that's me in the grey sweater.) It was so much fun to share the weekend with them. If you are not familiar with Allyson's blog, Story Sleuths, you are missing out! She and two colleagues analyze successful children's books to see what the writer is doing right. It's like a class in an MFA writing program every week! Check it out!

Here are my highlights from the weekend:

1. LAINI TAYLOR--ROCK STAR. Laini Taylor is so awesome, there are not enough words. I have seen her speak many times and I am always so impressed. Her keynote address Saturday morning was about her relationship with writing. And it was like she was speaking directly to me. She wrestles with perfectionism and fear and laziness... just like us mortals! It was such a comfort! She played a clip from Hamlet 2 (Have you seen this movie? If you haven't, you must go rent it. It will make you laugh like a lunatic.) that totally captured the essence of a writer's ups and downs.
She also gave a workshop on plotting that had me taking notes at lightning speed. Not only was I trying to get down everything she said, I kept getting ideas for plot solutions for my work-in-progress! How cool is that??? To check out Laini's blog click here, for more of her essays on writing click here.

I worked up the nerve to ask Laini if I could take a picture with her and she was so sweet about it. I brought two of my writing group buddies along. Don't we look happy??

Laini was fantastic, and she brought along her adorable baby, Clementine Pie, who was the star of the conference.

2. CONNECTING WITH OTHER WRITERS-- This year I had the pleasure of meeting so many new people, some of them first time conference attendees. I had a special fondness in my heart for those folks. I remember going to my first writing conference about five years ago and thinking everyone else was "in the know" and everyone else knew who everyone else was. It was a whole new world to me, but one I was very interested in getting into. This year I got to be a "mentor" to first time attendees. Which basically meant that I had a red ribbon on my name tag that said "Ask Me". It was kind of funny, actually. (Everybody had a joke, "Ask you? What should I ask you about?") But I really enjoyed it. My main job was to talk to people, something I really enjoy!

3. THE HEART-FUL STORIES OF JAY ASHER AND MITALI PERKINS--
These two keynote speeches were amazing in different ways. Jay Asher told the story of his 12 year journey toward getting published. He told about so many "almosts." He was very witty and inspiring. For more about Jay, check out his blog or his web-site. He's a very cool guy.

Mitali Perkins spoke on Sunday morning. I was not familiar with her work before this conference, but now I really want to know more about her. She is a great speaker and seems very real.
She talked about how when she started off, she used to think "How can I brand myself?" But she evolved into thinking "How can I serve?" and "What can I contribute?" That rang so true for me and how I want to be in the world. What do I want to contribute through my writing? How can I serve the world with my creativity? She also brought out one of my favorite quotes by Fred Buechner. She said that our calling is "the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

How true is that???

Here's where you can find more on Mitali.

4. MEETING MY BLOG SOUL SISTER, DAWN SIMON!
Yes, folks, you heard it here first! My girl Dawn Simon (from Plotting and Scheming) was there and I got to meet her face to face! Turns out we are soul sisters in real life too! On Friday night when we met, we realized we have more than kindred blog spirits in common!

Besides the fact that we're both writers, mamas, and dreamers, we have gone to some of the same conferences, we both volunteered for the author signings, and we both picked the same manuscript consultant. Can you say, "written in the stars"? We were meant to meet!

There's lots more to say, but I'll leave it at that for now. Go check out these wonderful writers and their work. Another superstar who was there was Matt Holm, one of the co-creators of the Babymouse books. My daughter absolutely loves those books!

Here's hoping you can share in all this wonderful inspiration! I think I'm addicted to conferences now. When's the next one??? : )

A Joyful Amazing Conference!

2010-04-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends!

Sorry to have been quiet for a few days! I was gearing up for and then attending our local SCBWI conference and it was PHENOMENAL! I had so many great experiences and learned SO much! I will share some inspiring tidbits and photos in the days to come. Meanwhile, if you're interested, check out the Chinook Update. I'm not sure how they did this, but I think they posted quick summaries as the presenters were speaking. So, you'll get a taste of how incredible this conference was.

We had so many illustrious faculty: Laini Taylor, Peter Brown, Mitali Perkins, Jay Asher, Michael Bourret, Elizabeth Law, Edward Necarsulmer and many many more. It was a terrific weekend. I got SO full of inspiration and writerly joy. I can't wait to share more with you this week. : )

Happy Monday!

Angel in the marble

2010-04-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Michelangelo said,

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved to set him free."

How did he do that? Seriously.

Though I have to admit, I feel like I can relate to my buddy, Michelangelo today.

As I sit here with my revision, studying the manuscript, looking at images, character charts, and pages and pages of notes, trying to distill the changes I need to make. I can see the angel in there, I really can. My own angel. This story that I'm trying to tell. Now I'm trying to figure out how to set it free. There is still quite a bit of marble around it. Extra words, passages where my main character isn't active enough, conflicts that need to be more sharply defined, and an ending that needs more danger and excitement.

I've got all the tools I need: thorough critiques, notes from very story-wise people, my own vision, and plenty of hours set aside for working. But it is still a daunting task. It takes tons of concentration, imagination, focus, and time. SO much time. I can never get over How. Much. Time. It takes. I often wonder whether or not I'm up to the difficulty of it.

As I was looking for the above quote to make sure I said it correctly, I came upon this one as well, also by Michelangelo:

"If people knew how hard I work to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all."

I appreciated that reminder that achieving mastery is HARD. I don't mean to complain. It is a worthy pursuit. But I come face to face with my shortcomings every day as I scratch away with my chisel. Since I have not yet achieved Signore Michelangelo's mastery, I wonder, will this cut of the chisel ruin the statue? Will it slice into the angel's wing and destroy this piece of marble? Will the angel's head be deformed? Is my angel even something that people will enjoy looking at?

Answer: I don't really know. But it doesn't much matter. Because nobody else is going to write this book but me. So, this story's got me for its sculptor and that's that. I've got to bring the best of myself to it and try to get that angel out here into the light. Once I accomplish that, I think I will breathe a huge sigh of relief...

And then I'll start another book. : )

Anybody else out there swimming in uncertainty? Wondering if you're equal to the task before you? Let's back each other up. Remind each other that anything worth having is worth working hard for. Let's keep chiseling away!

(For the record, my hands are not quite this hairy.)

"I am large, I contain multitudes"

2010-04-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

Thank you Uncle Walt Whitman!

Hi friends,

I wanted to follow up on this idea of identity and being ALL that you are in the world. It has sparked a lot of thoughts in our family and I wanted to share some of what happened after I last posted.

First of all, it was great to hear all of your thoughts. Thanks for chiming in.

Second, I thought a lot about how being a human being, an artist, and a mother is complex. There IS a lot inside me. I AM large. I DO contain multitudes. It is challenging to give expression to all those aspects of myself but would I have it any other way?

NO!

What a blessing it is to sense the mosaic of jewels sparkling inside you. YES, I am a writer and a mother and a dancer and a daughter and a wife and a dreamer and a magic bean-seller... (Well, more like an organic bean-buyer.) ; ) I LIKE being all those things. I'd grow terribly bored and sad if I had only one way to express myself. I'd wilt and shrink and feel empty. It's a challenge to balance all these aspects of myself. But I am lucky. Lucky lucky lucky to know who and what I love.

Third, and perhaps most significant, I discovered that my daughter is deeply inspired by my being a writer. She and I had a "Writing Date" today. She is six years old and on spring break so, we got to have some special time. She was so excited about having a Writing Date with her mama it was adorable. She packed her little purple backpack with pens, paper, a book to read, and dolls. She set out her outfit the night before and got dressed this morning as quick as a whip. (NOT her usual way of getting going in the morning.)

As we were getting ready for bed last night, she expressed her excitement about our plans. She was chattering away happily, "Mommy, it's going to be so great. Two Almost-Real Writers together, doing our writing in a coffee shop." : )

How about that? I'm an Almost-Real Writer!

And so is my daughter!

So that was a big "aha" moment. I got to see that sharing my writing with her was enriching for both of us. It won't work every time. Sometimes I need space by myself to write. But today, it really worked. We had a great time. I started by reading to her. She then went on to "write" by drawing three gorgeous pictures. She had a snack and listened to a chapter book on tape. We sat together sipping our warm drinks, enjoying being together, doing things we love. So, what a great thing. Sometimes, my two biggest priorities can work together beautifully!

Here's hoping you find many moments like this. When things just WORK. When it feels really right to be large, to contain multitudes.

The Great Pie-Chart of Artistic Identity

2010-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

I mentioned the book Creating a Life Worth Living, by Carol Lloyd, in an earlier post. It's truly an amazing book and if you are looking for tools to explore your creativity, I can't recommend it enough. One of the exercises in the book is this pie chart, where you identify all these aspects of who you are. She gives you the names and definitions of all these artistic archetypes like: generator, realizer, mystic, interpreter, etc. She acknowledges that we all have many ways of creating, many ways of being in the world.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately, especially in terms of how my creativity relates to being a mother. I am thinking now of all the things a person can be in the world (beyond the ways the book describes.) Example: Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Writer, Dancer, Actor, Teacher, Homemaker (in the most liberated sense of the world), Cook, Reader, Learner, Seeker, Friend, Community Member, Blogger ; ), Organizer, Visionary, Laundry Mistress, etc.

If the big circle is my TIME AND ATTENTION, all these things take up a piece. The way they are broken up on a given day is always different but, no matter what, almost all of these things need to be addressed at some point. Now, I am pretty clear on my biggest priorities. I know that my kids and my family are my first priority. They make all the rest of life meaningful and rich with their bright spirits and big hearts. (I am also fulfilled and inspired by THEIR artistry.)

But I do wrangle with my "identity" sometimes. I can feel the Mother role always rising to the top, expressing its dominance, while the Writer knows it has to wait, to hold on until the other needs are seen to. But how does that make the little internal writer feel? How does that inner Writer remember that she is important, that her fire is needed in the world?

Another thing I'm finding is that it can be difficult to shift from one role into another. When I go from intense all-day mothering into writing, I often find my creativity left me somewhere between acting out a feminist version of Cinderella and the third round of dishes.

Then, when I go and write for several hours, I find that the story lingers around me like a purple sparkly cloud. I've been lost and happy in the land of my characters. It can be tricky to shift into "real time" and all the tasks that are waiting for me in the real world.

How does a person integrate her identity so that she feels like everything works together? I think this should be possible. In fact, sometimes it is. When the kids' funny sayings inspire me to jot down an idea for a picture book. Or when I think about how excited I am for my daughter to turn 12 so she can read and enjoy my novel. Sometimes things flow more easily, and I can see that my children are excited that I am a writer. Sometimes after writing I miss them terribly and can't wait to kiss their sweet faces. But mostly, life is this dance between all the things that I am.

How about you? How is your pie chart looking? How do you balance or unify your various roles? Secrets, tips, and book suggestions welcome!

Thanks for listening!

What's your favorite Harry Potter book?

2010-03-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hi!
I have been wanting to connect with my blog-world friends! But I have three "meaningful" posts percolating in my head and no time to write them. So I am going to ask a Harry Potter question instead:

Which is your favorite book of the series???

This is a tough one for me. But here is my attempt at an answer:

Runners up:

Book 1: The Sorcerer's Stone
It's up there because it introduced me to the magic of Harry. Because it is heartbreaking. Because of the beautiful structure, the humor and the satisfying "win" in the end.

Book 6: HP and the Half-Blood Prince -
Because of Harry's amazing journey with Dumbledore. Because of the intense, shocking ending. And because it's our last real book in Hogwarts.

But the top book for me....

(Drum roll....)

Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -
Why? I love Sirius Black. I loved the way she characterized him as a terrifying criminal, and then threw Harry in his path, only to discover... well.. (there are no spoilers in Harry Potter right? You've all read them?) I'll just say, Harry discovers that he has a special connection with Sirius Black. I love the way Hermione, Ron and Harry's friendship has hit its stride. I loved Lupin. It's also the most satisfying book in the Quidditch department. Other favorite elements: The Marauder's Map, the Time-Turner (which I've often wished I HAD), and--most dear to me of all--Harry's Patronus.

-sigh-

What's your favorite?

Mice in Children's Books

2010-03-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

My kids and I have been playing this game for a week, and now I am inviting you to join in!
We started trying to figure out how many books we know of where the main characters are mice. There are a LOT! Here is a sampling:

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

(and Kevin Henke's many other mice protagonists: Owen, Chester, Julius, etc.)

Stuart Little

The Tale of Despereaux

Maisy

And my personal favorite--someone who will receive his own dedicated post very soon:

Reepicheep (from Prince Caspian and Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis.)

Still more mice in fiction:

The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse
Alexander and the Wind-up Mouse
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
Angelina Ballerina (and her entourage.)
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
The Subway Mouse
I.Q. (Goes to School, Visits the Library etc.)
Pierre in Love (a recent favorite around here!)

What else?

What is it about mice? Why are they such relatable characters? What makes people write about them? Or have them stand for humans in a story? Cuteness? Intelligence? Pity for all the medical testing? Is it the ears? I wonder how many MOUSE protagonists we can come up with?

Why the Hummingbird?

2010-03-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

So glad you asked!

Hummingbirds are kind of like my totem animal. If anyone out there is laughing... that's OK! But I really mean it! Hummingbirds are incredibly amazing animals. I read somewhere once that they do not feel fear. Isn't that crazy? They are about 8 centimeters from beak to tail, they weigh about the same as a penny, and they do not feel fear. That's what made me fall in love with them. I am fearful of all sorts of things. But I want to be more like those tiny bad-ass hummingbirds.

HOW can I splice some of their DNA into mine, I ask you?

Also, their wings move in the pattern of infinity (like an 8) and their hearts are quite large in proportion to their tiny bodies. (My body is average size, but I relate to their big-heartedness.)

I've also heard that hummingbirds symbolize the connection between the spirit world and the human world. I also think of that as the land between dreams and waking, the space between where our stories come from and the regular old earth space we live in.

Also, whenever I see one I just feel happy--it's like peering into the fairy world, the way they float and hover and zoom.

Last night I added the hummingbird picture to the blog, and today we hung a hummingbird feeder to a tree outside. (Would you believe those little warriors just drink sugar water? For what it's worth, I gave them organic sugar... They need to eat 7 times per hour to keep those crazy fast metabolisms going. So, the least I can do is give them organic sugar if they're going to be pounding it like that.) : )

So, it seemed only fitting that I should explain why there is the image of a hummingbird here at Writer Mama Dreamer.

I love them. That's the reason.

Anybody else have a special love for a particular animal? (It can even be a real pet or an imaginary dragon...) Any animal inspire you? How about an animal from fiction?

Possessed

2010-03-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

I think I've started to figure out why I can't work on two manuscripts at one time.

I work best when I'm possessed.

There's really no other way to say it. I work best when my story swirls around me night and day. When my subconscious is constantly working on the plot and character details (while I do dishes and bathe children and sweep up dinner crumbs). I work best when I am deep inside the story, running through the forest with my characters, looking into their eyes, tasting the air, sensing their moods, and tracking their whole journey.

This tends to happen when I work on it every day and let my subconscious mind work on it every night. It's when things are flowing and rolling and cruising along. The story is literally all around me, and thrumming inside me. I'm much more in tune with its heartbeat and its trajectory and its flaws.

I remember when I first started a novel, there were weeks and weeks and weeks when I was grappling with it, trying to get a hold of it. And then there came a shift, and the story took a hold of me. It kind of became an entity unto itself and I had to do its bidding. It sounds unpleasant, but it was actually very fabulous.

You can't be possessed like that about two manuscripts at once. At least, I don't think I can be.

So, I'm looking to get back to that place. I'm going to stop trying to work on two things for now. I'm heading into the madness of intense revision on a manuscript that means the world to me. But it's a place I really want to go. If I seem wild-eyed or neurotic or blazing with light... you'll know why.

Book Ideas for Dreamers

2010-03-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, I think I'm becoming a Night Blogger. I love night. So perhaps this is fitting. Sorry this is SO late!

In honor of "GRAB ONTO YOUR DREAM" WEEK, I want to share a few books for you dreamers. Whether you've got your dreams all mapped out, or if you only have a little inkling inside that there is *something* calling to you, I want to be a voice in support of you following those dreams wherever they lead.

Here are some books that changed my life.
Creating a Life Worth Living, by Carol Lloyd - This is a great book if you need help focusing your ideas and talents. Most people have more than one talent or passion, and it can be hard to know what to give your energy to. This book gives very practical, fun activities you can do to distill your vision for yourself. It also helps you figure out how to build a bridge from the life you have now, to the life you want. Love it. LOVE IT. I reread it often. They also have workshops you can go to.

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho - If you don't know about this book already, you must read it.

A Life in the Arts, by Eric Maisel - I've written about this book before. But let me tell you how it helped me. It showed me that people like us--people who feel a deep calling toward a creative life--are different. We just are. We're different from the thronging masses who are content with other passions, other paths. We have a unique set of personality traits. We're more prone to certain emotional pitfalls. And our experience of the world is just DIFFERENT. I can't tell you how much this lifted me up. Oh my gosh, you mean... that's why I sometimes feel like a purple-and-green-feathered bird with a loud squawk in a field full of elegant, quiet, gray birds? Oh. Thank you.

The Power of Intention, by Wayne Dyer - I got turned on to Wayne Dyer from his PBS special on this book. It is phenomenal. The man is connected to a spiritual mainline (his messages have resonance no matter what your religious leanings are. For me they are spiritual in the sense of being deeply meaningful and positive.)

Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow, by Marsha Sinetar - I read this book when I was in my early 20's. A light came on, and I knew I wouldn't have to go to a 9-5 job every day. I knew I could find another way. A way to stay really true to myself and still make money.

The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron - This is great for those of you still searching for your passions. Though even if you are a seasoned writer, it can bring out a deeper creativity in your work.

Mindfulness and Meaningful Work, Edited by Claude Whitmyer - Just a great resource.

Please feel free to share any of your favorite books on creativity too!

OK - I want to send you all big bursts of pink sparkly DREAM POWER. No matter where you are, know that someone out there believes with all her heart that you CAN do whatever you dream of doing. You CAN make space in your life for it. You CAN do it, even if you don't see HOW right now.

Many many happy dreams to all of you!

"Grab Onto Your Dream Week" Continues! Tell the World

2010-03-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

Grab Onto Your Dream Week goes on! Just because I was a teensy bit late in posting today (OK, VERY late) doesn't mean I forgot!

I have some fun ideas for all you dreamers out there coming up on Friday. Meanwhile, I want to share the bumper sticker I saw this week:

"DON'T POSTPONE JOY"

Coincidence?

I don't think so. Whoever put that sticker on their car must have known it's Grab Onto Your Dream Week here at Writer Mama Dreamer! ; )

So, in the spirit of putting your dreams front and center: Tell us what your dreams are! Write them in the comments! Name them! I'm sure you already know this but, saying them out loud is a HUGE step toward making them a reality. Write them down and put them up on your walls at home, in places you'll see them all the time, like on the front door or at your desk. Share your dreams here! The more people who know and support your dream, the better.

I'll start:
*I dream of writing MANY books and having a long, joyful career as a writer.
*I dream of connecting with readers--both kids and adults--at schools, book stores or conferences, and having a chance to know how my stories have affected them.
* I dream of long luxurious hours in a sunlit writing studio (it doesn't exist yet, but it WILL! Right now I write in a corner of the basement. But I do have a throne for a chair. More on this later.)
* I dream of the time when my writing life will enhance the lives of my children and husband. When they will feel enriched by the experience of having a mom/wife who is a writer. Maybe one day the extra income will add up to a family vacation. Or maybe my kids will go to a book event with me and think it's very cool. Or maybe my creative life will inspire them to go inward and have the courage to follow their own creative visions.

Now you! I really really want to hear your dreams. Whatever they are!

Moving on "Up"

2010-03-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the family watched "Up" this weekend. It brought both me and my husband to tears. It wasn't the sweetness of the old man's relationship with Russell (though that was very dear.) It wasn't the tender goofiness of Dug, the most earnest canine character in recent history (though he was hilarious). And it wasn't the wonder of the enormous bouquet of balloons carrying the house away (though that sparked my imagination and made me want to write something whimsical.)

No, it was the Life-is-an-Adventure-and-You'd-Better-Be-Doing-Exactly-What-You-Dream-of-or-Before-Long-it-Will-Pass-You-By message.

Yep, that's what got us. Both of us were tearing up within the first ten minutes. I know for a fact we were both thinking about dreams we have let go, dreams we still have, and dreams that are on the slow-track right now because too many other things insinuate themselves onto the front burners and demand our attention.

-sigh-

It's nice when movies do that--wake you up. Spur you to action in your own life. But the proverbial kick in the pants isn't always comfortable.

As you all know, DREAMS are one of the things that drive my whole life. I'm a big believer in being thoroughly and ruthlessly YOURSELF. I believe in listening to the whispers of your dreams and following where they lead. I believe in answering the call of your muses, your wild imaginings, and your most deeply held wishes.

But, just like everyone, I have a house to clean, children to feed and care for, laundry to do, groceries to buy, bills to pay, and any number of daily grind minutae to take care of.

How do we make sure that, through it all, we are still on the path?

Do you write "dreams" on your calendar? Do you hire someone to do the laundry so you can go and work on your dream? Do you shove things like taxes and bills to the back burner?

In the movie "Up", Mr. Frederickson has all these fabulous metaphorical moments. In order to go help his little friend Russell--and have a real adventure as he and his wife, Ellie, had always wanted--he literally has to "unload" the entire contents of his house so that it can fly. His whole sense of self gets reconfigured more than once during the movie. Both my dear dream-filled husband and I noticed, and it woke us up. We are spending some time looking to our own lives and how we have designed them. We're making sure that our dreams are front and center where they belong.

I'm so inspired, I'm going to make this GRAB ONTO YOUR DREAM WEEK. So, get ready for more on this exciting subject. : )

But for now, tell me how you make sure you're sticking to your heart's path? What do you do to make space for dreams?

Setback

2010-03-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, this month has not turned out like I thought it would. I had such dreams. Such visions! I was going to complete a rough draft of a new book! I was going to plot out my revision for another book! I was going to be Super-Productive-Writer-Woman!

Alas, those things are not meant to be right now, and I am having to adjust my plans.

It seems that I have to take this month to focus on my health. (I'm totally fine! And I'm going to be totally fine. It's not life threatening at all. But I've got some things I need to take care of. -sigh-) I'm not trying to be mysterious. But, let me just say that: right now is the time to focus on healing. That's always a good thing, right?

It's hard when life throws you a curve ball and you can't do what you set out to do. At least not right NOW, which is when I want to do it. But I am trusting that this is right and that my job is to take care of myself and all the rest will come later.

So, I'm trying to find the lesson in all of this. What is "the gift" in this?

I think some of it will be revealed later. But some I can already see.

For instance, I can see that I spend way too much of my writing time festering. Not being able to write at all right now, I can see how much time I waste at the computer. I think, when I get back to it, I will just go straight to that "dream space" and begin from there. I have a feeling that will save me a lot of time. : )

I can also see down to what's most important, in my work and in my life. That's truly a gift. It helps me sift through all the crap and focus on those GEMS with the most meaning and depth and love.

So, there you go. That's where I am this week. I should still be able to blog, but I may be a bit spottier than I have been. I will still really enjoy connecting with all of you, either here or at your blogs!

Anyone else out there ever have a setback that turned into a surprise blessing? Please tell me your stories! They will inspire me!

The Awkward Little Sister

2010-03-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else out there working on more than one manuscript?

I've heard that it's possible, but I'm starting to question in.

I have a book that is my pride and joy. Let's call it Book "A". I have been working on it for a few years, but it really came together over the past year. It is almost fully realized, which is exciting. I am about to embark on another revision and feel so hopeful about what is possible for this story. Of course, all that is a big unknown. But I can say that I love it. I love it so much I could cry. It is full of my life force and my blood, sweat, and tears. I feel like I understand it, even though it's flawed and needs a lot of work. I feel like I know the territory, the setting, the soul of that manuscript. I feel like the characters are people I know and they are waiting for me to finish them so I can send them out into the world.

Meanwhile, I made the rather questionable decision to try to finish the rough draft of a new piece, Book "B", before I started this revision. (I blogged about it early on, if you are interested.) I thought it would be good for me. I have a little over 10,000 words and have enjoyed working on it. I thought it was a smart choice: finish this rough draft so I'll have it in my pocket. Then, when I decide to submit Book "A", I'll have Book "B" to work on during the agonizing weeks of waiting.

Not a bad idea, right?

There's only one problem.

Ideas for Book "A" keep swirling around my head. She keeps glancing at me from across the room, wondering why I am not spending more time with her. Working on Book "B" feels a bit like I'm playing with crayons while my beautiful, almost-finished painting languishes in the corner.

Book "B" can't help but to be the awkward little sister. The one who watches her big sister through the glass in her ballet class, wishing she could be as skilled and graceful, but knowing that she has years of work to put in before that will ever happen.

Can this awkward little sister...

Grow up to be like this?

Of course, Book "A" started out like the awkward little sister! She was once ungainly and stumbling around trying to learn to dance. There's no question that Book "B" has potential and that, with enough time and dedication, she too will flourish and stretch her little wings.

The question is, which one gets my attention right now? Is it possible to work on two pieces without comparing them? Is it possible to really "be in the world" of two different stories? Or is it better to choose one and stick with it to the bitter end? Especially if one keeps calling to you...

Any thoughts?

Holy Katniss! I've got HUNGER GAMES fever!

2010-03-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

I know I am late to this party. But, wow! What a book!

Oh my goodness. I knew it was going to be a page-turner. I heard it was going to grab me by the throat and not let me go. But still, I resisted it. I did not want to read about a futuristic society that put children into a reality game show where they had to fight to the death. What an upsetting concept! Plus, I tend to be a wimp about violence and I just thought it would be too graphic for my tastes.

Little did I know...

I flew through that thing like a crazed, rabid animal. Devouring every page. Hungry for every morsel of story Suzanne Collins served up like a feast. It was so good. So so so freaking good. If you are trying to write for young adults, and you have not already had the pleasure of reading this book... I highly recommend it. It is what my husband would call "a clinic" in writing. Do yourself a favor. Run, don't walk, to your local bookstore and get it!

I borrowed a copy from a friend (Thank you, Lori!) and had to high-tail it to the bookstore today to get the sequel, CATCHING FIRE. So far, I'm 40 pages in and it does not disappoint. The third book comes out later this year. My husband is reading The Hunger Games now, and I can already see the feverish look in his eyes.

This is actually kind of a problem for me. Because I DO want to write. When I have free time, I usually spend it writing. But how can I when I have this book to read? I must learn to ration it to myself. Only read it after I've completed my writing quota for the day? I don't think I can do it.

What is it that makes it so fantastic? Someone on Goodreads described her writing as "taut" which I thought was very apt. It is written in the first person, present tense, which gives it an immediacy that pulls you right in. It is action action action, but somehow, she doesn't sacrifice character. I cared about Katniss from almost the very first moments. She is brave, self-sacrificing, tough, sensitive, and smart. The author sets up HUGE stakes, lovable characters, an exciting concept, a believable romance, and pacing that just flies like a runaway train. All I had to do was hang on tight!

Whew!

Have you read it? What did you think?

(Differing opinions are always OK.) : )

The TRUTH!

2010-03-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I warned you that I was a bad liar.

Yesterday I posted SEVEN outrageous stories about myself, claiming that only ONE was true.

I'm so sorry.

I lied.

ALL of them were true, except for ONE!!!

#4. The cauliflower. I actually love cauliflower. I will eat it fresh, steamed, roasted. I think it's yummy. PLUS, it's a cruciferous veggie and very good for you!

I'm so sorry. I hope I don't get my Creative Blogger award revoked! I thought it would be more fun to tell outrageous truths. I love hearing real things about people, and so I decided to share some real things about me.

So, with no further ado, here are my 7 outrageous TRUTHS and one lie. : )

1. Once, when I was in elementary school, I uncharacteristically broke the rules and swung on the pipes that framed the stalls (We didn't have doors.) To my everlasting regret, I slipped and fell into the toilet.

Oh yes, this one is true. As a very respectable, rule-abiding child, I was horrified. Horrified! One foot fell squarely in the toilet, soaking my shoe and sock. I was so embarrassed. Words cannot express... I had to go to the principal's office. They called my mom who had to bring me fresh clothes. (To her credit, she was not mad at me, and stood up for me against the very stern, very displeased principal. Yay for Mom!)

2. When I was 14, I got to be a host on a local kids' TV show. Among other things, I got to travel to the top of the Columbia Tower, before it was completed, interview a children's book author, and get a makeover.

True! It was called "FLASH!". There were eight of us who got to do it and it was SO fun! The show was on for a few years here in the Northwest and they changed the cast every year. I really went to the top of the Columbia tower, which was scary! I had so much fun with the whole thing.

3. I was once a shameless skinny-dipper. In high school I ran off to our local lake late at night after going out dancing. Later, I snuck into the college swimming pool and back-dived naked with two friends.

Uh, yeah, this is true. I guess I did have a bit of a rebellious period. (I may still be in it, though I rebel in different ways now!) In my defense, when we snuck into the college pool, one of my co-conspirators was a lifeguard. So, I wasn't in too much danger...

4. I cannot stand cauliflower, and would refuse to eat it even if it were drizzled in cheese.

FALSE! I love it! (Sorry, Niki!)

5. I can't eat cheese, though I love it with all my heart. It makes me ill.

TRUE. And it's heartbreaking. I was a lifelong devotee of brie cheese. Many cheeses. And we had to break up. I am still not over it. But it makes my belly hurt. So I don't eat it (sob!) It's better this way.

6. I was in a movie with Ben Affleck. It was a small part, but... that was me.

TRUE! The movie is DAREDEVIL. (For those of you just joining us, I was an actor for many years before I started writing. I lived in L.A. and lived the struggling actor life for several years.) I got a role in this movie because I babysat for the director and he gave me a break! I ended up on the cutting room floor with the theatrical release. But I am back in for the "Director's Cut". My character was "Lisa Tazio" and she was a prostitute who got shot. (Yes, the prestige... I know) I had to crawl across the floor, dying. Very dramatic. BUT! My scene was with Ben and I did get to meet him! He was very nice and welcoming.

7. I gave birth to my second child naturally--no pain medications of any kind. It was like lightning--fast and furious. And it was the most heroic I ever felt.

Truer than true. And it might be my proudest accomplishment. It was a very rough pregnancy and we didn't know if a natural birth would be possible. But, in the end, it was! I felt REAL power that day, let me tell you. Tough as it was, I am so thankful for that experience.

Well, there you have it. I guess you all know me a little bit better now. : )

Thanks again to Niki for the Creative Blogger award that sparked this fun game!

See you tomorrow!

Feeling Very Fancy

2010-03-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, most of you know that I am very new to this blogging thing. But I am LOVING IT! It is WAY more fun than I thought it would be. I love connecting with all of you writer-types and creative-types and mother-types. : ) It is so satisfying and delightful to be in this conversation, that spreads out from blog to blog like a spiderweb. I love it!

I remember thinking: Followers? Well, I probably won't have any followers (picture a 4-year old with slumped shoulders, head hanging) but that's OK. I got in it to write about writing and to have fun. And then--lo and behold!-- you wonderful people keep appearing out of nowhere! I am so happy! Please know that every time I have seen a shiny new face, or when friends tell me they read a recent post, I just get all giddy. : )

Then I thought: Blog awards? Those look fun. Hmm... well, I have a new blog (same slumped shoulders...) I guess I won't get any blog awards. But... you know.. that's cool.

Stop the presses! Two of my blog-world buddies saw fit to give me these little gems!

Yee-haw! I'm legit!

I got a blog award!

Wait! Not just one...

but TWO!

Check it out!!!

This little beauty is from Dawn at Plotting and Scheming. If you haven't already joined her party, I highly recommend it. I have a special place in my heart for Dawn--and not just because I was lucky enough to win a copy of GOING BOVINE from her blog contest, though that was a wonderful treat--but because, when I first started this blog, she kind of took me under her wing. She came and commented and made me feel welcome in the kid-lit blogosphere.

So, THANK YOU SO MUCH, DAWN!

And THIS:

is from the spunky, friendly files of Niki over at Wool 'n' Nuts.

When you visit her blog, you will see that she is WAY across the pond, in New Zealand.

(That's right... I got an award from overseas! ; ) Don't be jealous.)

Niki seems to think that I might be a good tale-spinner (aka: LIAR), which I have assured her I am not.

However! As a part of the wonderful tradition of the "Creative Writer" blog award, I am obliged to tell 7 outrageous things about myself, 6 of which will not be true. You be the judge.

Did I... or didn't I?

4. I cannot stand cauliflower, and would refuse to eat it even if it were drizzled in cheese.

5. I can't eat cheese, though I love it with all my heart. It makes me ill.

6. I was in a movie with Ben Affleck. It was a small part, but... that was me.

7. I gave birth to my second child naturally--no pain medications of any kind. It was like lightning--fast and furious. And it was the most heroic I ever felt.

Tomorrow I shall reveal all! Which one of these seven stories is TRUE. Any guesses?

Favorite Books on Writing

2010-03-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

I don't intend to review books for this blog. But I would love to talk about books on writing that were major inspirations and game-changers for me. I'd love to hear your favorites too. Nathan Bransford did a post last year on this topic and people wrote in with their favorite craft books. Click here to see it. I sat there poring over the comments for an hour and copied down the books that came up over and over again. Here are a few books that really added to my tool kit as a writer:

On Writing, by Stephen King
Story, by Robert McKee
Writing the Breakout Novel, by Donald Maass
From Where You Dream, by Robert Olen Butler

One thing I've noticed is that all these books made WAY more sense to me once I had a completed draft of a novel. Of course I did read craft books when I first started writing. I found them interesting and useful. But once I had that first draft, it was like every sentence in the craft books reached out to me. I understood the snaggletoothed forest that is a novel-in-progress so much better. I understood the difficulty of the task. My friends couldn't understand how I had time to write a book AND read books about writing. But I was just hungry for it, and finally ready. Now that I've written more and been through a couple rounds of revisions, the difficulty of the task is even more apparent. But I am more certain that I am up to it.

When I want to get inspired, and remember how the pros do it, I reread certain novels that have shown me what great writing is. The first one that comes to mind is A NORTHERN LIGHT by Jennifer Donnelly. Oh. My. God. That's good writing. And of course Jane Austen and Katherine Paterson and C.S. Lewis and many many others.

Is anyone else out there a fan of The Princess Bride? (This actually does relate to writing.) I picked up the new Shannon Hale book, FOREST BORN, the other day. I sometimes tell myself that my writing style is not unlike hers. Like her, I write fantasy and sometimes base my work on fairytales. And I enjoy imagining that one day, my books will be next to hers on the shelf (How could a name come between HALE and HALL? I ask you? I dream of that day!!) But after only a few pages, I was laughing to myself and the words of Inigo Montoya--when he's in the midst of the swordfight with the Man in Black--came to my head: "I admit, you are better than I am." She is just so good. So doggone good. She packs so much beauty and originality and story into just a few sentences.

But it's OK. I have much to learn from my idol Shannon Hale and others. Like Inigo Montoya, I stare at these writers in wonder--amazed at their talent and skill. I don't feel competitive. I am overjoyed that I get to experience their gifts.

Let me know which books you have used to guide you on your way!

Tell me about yourself!

2010-02-26T11:59:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,

I'm late to the blog posting today, sorry! I get to spend the whole afternoon writing today, so this will be brief. I'd love to play a "get to know you" game. Anybody up for it? Answer any or all of the following questions in the comments section.

Who is your writing (or artistic) role model? Who inspires you?
What genre(s) do you write?
What's your favorite thing about writing?

OK, I'll go first!

Writing role model: I love Shannon Hale. I love the way she writes strong, thinking, brave heroines, and weaves this gorgeous prose around them. She creates vivid, fairy-tale worlds where there is immediate danger and also magic everywhere. She is also a mom and someone who seems to care about the world. I've seen her speak and she was down-to-earth, kind and FUNNY. Also, as she was signing books, she pulled up a chair for me next to her so I could nurse my fussy baby boy. How much classier can you get?

Genre: I write mostly YA. So far, I have stayed within the world of fantasy. But I have at least two ideas for contemporary novels as well. My books do not have wizards or dragons or fairies (though I love those books too!) but they do have mystical elements. They seem like novels set in some faraway time and place, but there is always some magic involved. I asked an agent how he would describe my work last year and he said, "You could call it 'literary fantasy'" Hello? I LOVED that. So, that's what I'm going with: literary fantasy.

Favorite thing about writing: BEING TRANSPORTED. No question, that's my favorite part of the whole process. It's like a free ticket to Narnia, anytime I want it. (What I always dreamed of as a child!) Though I guess I go to different worlds--worlds that *I* create. It's phenomenal. I get to invent luscious, exciting, heart-racing situations and throw my characters (and myself!) into them. It's so much fun, I love it. It reminds me of when the trolley would come by on Mister Rogers Neighborhood. I would get so excited! The trolley could go to The Land of Make Believe, where there was a castle and talking kitties and tree-houses and magic.

Oh! I think I hear the trolley bell calling for me! I'm off to my own little land of make-believe. See you on the flip side. : )

Can't wait to hear your answers.

Happy weekend!

About to Blossom

2010-02-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

Are you seeing the cherry blossoms out there? Do you live some place where you can see them? Because they are just amazing around here! Quite a few trees are bursting with white or pink blossoms. And some are in that delicious phase of being just-about-to-bloom. Whenever I see those tightly closed, dark pink buds, I stop and look closer.

Please don't laugh, but, this is where I feel like I am with my writing: Just-about-to-bloom.

I have been writing and learning and working with a critique group for a few years. I have gone to quite a few writing conferences and workshops. I finally feel like I am getting a handle on it. And exciting things are starting to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not published, I don't have an agent. But I have that sense of immense possibility on the horizon. I feel like my dreams are just around the corner. I was listening to "Bridge Over Troubled Water" not long ago and I almost cried during these lines:

Sail on Silver Girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.

Isn't that beautiful!? Can't you just hear Art Garfunkel's sweet voice singing it?
So, of course I had to put that on the bulletin board in my writing space:

ALL YOUR DREAMS ARE ON THEIR WAY.

I love thinking about it that way. I'll just keep working away and doing my best. Meanwhile, my dreams are on a boat, sailing closer ever day.

I hope yours are too.

The Best is Yet to Come OR Why I Could Never Be an Olympian

2010-02-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Have you been watching the Olympics? They are so exciting. They are thrilling. I saw that Apolo Ohno has now got a record for being the most decorated American Winter Olympian ever. I thought about how many hours he must have spent in his young life ice-skating. Thousands, right? I mean, he must have dedicated tons of time to this sport he loves. All Olympic athletes do. It’s admirable. And they have to do it to rise to the top of their game. It's the same way with writing. We spend thousands of hours learning and practicing and writing and revising in order to rise to the top of our game.

But I could never do what these Olympians do.

Besides that fact that I am not particularly athletic… And I never really got into sports… and I’m really too old to compete in any of these events anyway...

I just think it would be hard to have a profession or a passion where you knew you were going to peak at a young age. I think I would despair if I didn’t think I was just going to keep getting better and better at the thing I love.

I was an actor for a long time, and I went through the exact same thing. I lived in Los Angeles and, as a woman, there was definitely this sense that there would be an expiration date for my career chances. It was not a good feeling. But I knew inside that with every role, and every life experience, I was only going to get stronger as an actress. I did not have to have perfectly toned thighs and smooth cheekbones in order to bring excellence and gravitas to a role. On the contrary, I knew that my favorite actors were the ones who had lived a few decades, and let all that life show in their work. Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Jessica Lange, and Gena Rowlands, to name a few.

Fortunately, for my next act, I chose writing. Now, I am more certain than ever that I can keep getting better. I have read published writers whose later work is more focused, more complex, and more skillful than their earlier books. I have seen for myself the kind of work I used to churn out, compared to what I am capable of now. Not only that, I am blessed with seeing that my revisions are FAR lovelier than my first drafts. Time is on my side, in more ways than one!

So, if any of you writers out there are falling for the "I'm-too-old" message our culture likes to give... Don't. It's BS. You are just going to get better and better with time and practice. There is so much to look forward to: excelling at your craft, deepening your understanding of story structure, rich life experiences that will infuse your work, and--best of all--seeing that no matter how old you are, you can learn and grow and improve and expand.

This is going to be me someday, folks! One happy grandma, sitting outside writing!

It would be glorious to be an Olympian. But it's also glorious to be a writer, plodding forward toward mastery.

New Look

2010-02-21T20:58:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

I just had to make a change. I hope you like the new look. I felt too limited by all that pink. I will be posting first thing tomorrow morning but I wanted to say: IT'S STILL ME! I just gave the blog a bit of a makeover.

Hope your Sunday was perfect.

Writer Skills: Decisiveness

2010-02-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

A writer has to make dozens of decisions at every sitting. Even before we sit, during our day-dreaming sessions we make choices. What should happen to my main character in chapter twenty-six? Should I change it from four sisters to two? What if I moved the whole story to a different planet? This is the endless inner questioning of a writer.

I am horrible at decisions. I hate to admit it, but it's true.

This is what makes PLOT so hard for me. Once I get to know my characters, I am aware of the MILLIONS of possible paths they could take. I am acutely aware of the paths not taken, and they distract me. Not only that, once I settle on the basic plot arc, there are a hundred different ways I could express that same story line. Should I have flashbacks? Should I use the first person or the third? Should I add poetry at the beginning of each chapter?

Being the magic overlord of my characters is not always an easy wizard hat to bear, my friends. ("Heavy hangs the head that wears the.... wizard hat," as the saying goes. I believe it's Shakespeare. But don't quote me.)

It is a conundrum.

And it never ends. You never stop having to make decisions. When you're revising, it's: Should I cut this paragraph? Am I gilding the lily here? Do I use the word "looked" too many times? (Yes, always, always. I can't help it!)

And then there are all the decisions about the publishing process. Who should I submit to? Should I try to get an agent? Which one? At what point do I follow up?

It's enough to make the magic story overlord tear her hair out!

But... I'm calm now.

So, how do I get better at decisiveness? I'll be honest, it's a skill I could stand to hone in my personal life too.

Is this an issue for anybody else?

Is there a book?
Is there a mind trick?
Did I just get the short straw in the decision-making gene department?
Should I cultivate ruthlessness?
Maybe consider training as a spy?
(Now those people have to make quick decisions...)

Any help is much appreciated.

Thankful for an ordinary day

2010-02-17T10:03:00.000-08:00

This morning a little cloud of grief sits over me. A dear friend experienced a tragic loss yesterday, and I am having one of those days when I realize the dearness and tenuousness of life. I have always felt that birth and death are times when we get to go right up to the edge of life. We get to press our faces up to this mystic window and peek into whatever's beyond, and then turn back to our life and see the cozy little pod of people we call home. As I sit here in my pajamas, sipping my coffee, and listening to the imaginative play of my children, it all feels sweeter and heavier with meaning.

It's also one of those days when I don't feel able to make sense of death. The loss--though not mine--feels raw and unjust. So, I am just sitting with that today. With both truths.

Even though I just changed a poopy diaper and broke up a fight over a stuffed mouse, I'm glad I'm here, with these two round-cheeked, brilliant, imperfect children. And I'm aware that not everyone is having a day like mine, ordinary and easy. Some people are holding on by a thread today, trying to wrap their hearts around a new reality.

So, I'm sending blessings out to all of you, no matter what kind of day you're having.

What Can a Story Do?

2010-02-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'm a big believer in the power of story. It is the connecting point for me for my passions (writing, theatre, family). It is an ancient concept that has served humankind well for eons. I have observed the way stories help my young children every day. And stories have certainly inspired and healed me personally. I think that writing, telling, and listening to stories is incredibly powerful. I take it very seriously--and I also think it's great fun. For the purpose of this list, when I talk about STORY, I am including: books of any kind, plays, movies, television shows, songs, fairy tales, operas, poems, dances, comics, pictures on cave walls, and anyone telling anyone a story about anything.

The following list is not comprehensive, but it's a start.

WHAT CAN A STORY DO?

Remind you that you are not alone.
Teach you about something you've never heard of.
Let you know how things might go (the first day of kindergarten, a break-up, sex with a vampire...)
Make you feel alive.
Make you restless.
Awaken your curiosity.
Heal an old wound.
Take you on an adventure.
Inspire you to write, build, act, dance, or paint.
Light a fire inside you.
Show you who you want to be.
Show you who you don't want to be.
Teach peace.
Build empathy.
Connect people with one another.
Soften you.
Frighten you.
Embolden you.
Tickle you.
Infuriate you.
Shine a light on painful subjects.
Remind you of who you are.
Make you swoon.
Make you sob.
Make you believe in miracles.
Make you despair.
Make you laugh.
Spark a change in your life.
Bring back the past.
Imagine the future.
Illuminate the moment.
Show possibilities.
Wake you up.
Keep you company.
Help you escape.
Open your mind.
Reassure you.
Lessen your burden.
Fill you with hope.
Reveal the world's cruelty.
Flip your worldview.
Spur you to action.
Expand your idea of what's true.
Make you think the author is speaking just to you.
Nudge a dream awake.
Bless you.
Fill you.
Enrich you.
****
What else?

Valentine for my Readers

2010-02-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

Can I call you my readers? That sounds a bit presumptuous. Almost like something a published writer would say... But I just can't get myself to say "Followers." And here's why: I am an experienced blog reader. I have read and followed kid-lit blogs for quite some time, but the blog writers likely had no idea. I had their blogs bookmarked, I checked in on them regularly. I read their posts and admired them from afar, always thankful that someone was bothering to write about writing. But I was either too shy or too busy to join in the conversation most of the time.

I think the technical term is "lurking". But I don't like that one either. I'm well aware that there may be many people reading this who don't care to comment and who don't choose to "Follow" per the Blogger system. (OK fine, it's probably just my mother-in-law and my critique group buddies, but still! You're out there, I know it!)

So I just want to say THANK YOU. My little foray into blogging has been a BLAST so far. I find it just downright delightful to think about writing and creativity and to share my thoughts with you. When you share your thoughts in return, it's awesome. But not necessary. (Though seeing those neat little rows of followers just tickles me pink! Thanks to those of you jumped on board. You made my day every time!)

So Happy Valentine's Day to all who may be reading this! May your weekend be full of sweetness and connection. May you be surrounded by the people you deeply care about. And if you get one of those candy hearts that says "HUG," imagine it's from me!

Transitioning into Writing Time

2010-02-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

I have been reading this phenomenal book called "A Life in the Arts" by Eric Maisel. It is so great. I cannot recommend it highly enough. And it has me thinking about my writing habits and how I can sort of optimize the way I work. The thing that is really sticking in my mind today is analyzing how I transition INTO working.

I find that I cannot sit down and write when there are other things to tend to around the house (children, meals, etc.) I need to get to my writing space or a library so I can focus. But then, when the writing time begins, I find that I need a little transition time. In an ideal world, I need to move my body first, either walking or dancing (sometimes at the same time, more on that another day.) But even if I only have a short time to write, I need to do something that signals to my brain: NOW IS YOUR WRITING TIME. Don't waste it.

Sometimes I listen to music. Sometimes I write in a writing journal. I can just blurt out what I'm thinking and get the wheels greased. It seems to clean out my mental closet and also warm up my writing muscles. When I was finishing up the last draft of my manuscript I lit a candle on my desk as a reminder too "keep the fire under me" to finish it. That was really useful.

But now I think I'm ready to develop a way to expedite the process. I want to try to make that jump from Daily-Grind Mama into Super-Imaginative Writer Mama more swiftly. So, I'm on the case! Searching for a ritual or a new tradition for getting myself into writing mode. I'll probably experiment with different things this week.

Any ideas? What do you do? Do you have a regular way of transitioning into your writing time? If you have some tried-and-true techniques--or even some crazy ideas--to suggest I will try them all and report back in. Thanks!

Stage to Page: Writing Lessons from a Theatre Geek

2010-02-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Well, you knew it was coming. I wasn't going to be able to resist talking about THEATRE. There have been so many parallels in my creative efforts in both acting and writing, it's fascinating. Even after almost five years of learning, I still feel like a newbie in writing. But the world of theatre is much more familiar and comfortable to me. Many of the things I learned in drama school are completely relevant to writing. So... I am climbing up onto the dusty stage right now, clearing my throat, and gripping the lapel of my smoking jacket... Ahem.

Kidding!

But seriously, I hope this will be helpful.

Now, with no further ado, I give you... the very first...

Writing Lesson from a Theatre Geek:

BALANCING CONFIDENCE AND HUMILITY

In order to TRY anything creative, you have to have enough confidence to dive in. You have to be bold. You have to be brave enough to walk up onto that stage and make the attempt. You have to be courageous enough to sit down and fling your ideas onto the page in hopes that they will come together as a story. If you don't have that confidence, nothing will ever happen. You also have to have the nerve to SHOW your work to people. An audience, a director, a critique group, a... (gulp!) publisher! Sharing your work takes a ton of courage.

And then you have to shift, and be open and vulnerable. You have to let constructive criticism in so you can adapt, make changes, adjust your performance, revise your manuscript. It's a totally different mindset, but just as important as that first surge of confidence. From that place of humility, you are able to take things apart and rework them.

And then, once the director has given you notes, you step up on stage again, ready to integrate what you have been given. Once you get notes from a critique group or an editor, it's time to sit down with your manuscript and get back in touch with that inner boldness. That certainty that you can do it. That you will do it.

Moving between the two requires a kind of "supple awareness" as my teacher Stephanie Skura once called it. It's actually a very sophisticated thing to do. I'm sure most artists go through it in one form or another. It's certainly not easy. I find that sometimes my confidence inches toward bull-headedness. And my humility slips toward self-doubt. But I just keep trying to stay with it.

Does this ring true for any writers out there? How do you walk the line between confidence and humility? Is one more familiar? Does one or the other get in your way?

I love hearing your thoughts.

Happy Monday!

Writer Mothers: Finding the Time

2010-02-04T22:00:00.001-08:00

I know I am not the only one whose hunger for writing time is larger than the actual number of hours I get to write. I'm sure just about every person out there with a creative urge has to struggle to find the time to do what they love.

And I know that mothers are not the only ones with this dilemma. But if you are a mother who is also trying to carve out a creative identity, I have a special place in my heart for you! And if you only have half a minute to read blogs, here is my message in a nutshell:

DON'T STOP TRYING! You CAN find the time, and you deserve it!

The big question is HOW?

Seeking BALANCE is what I hear constantly from mothers I know. It's the same for me. I'm always trying to find ways to really be there for my children AND commit some serious time to my writing. It's a constant quest to find that right balance. How can I do enough writing hours in a week so that I feel truly productive and fulfilled? How can I balance that with my other responsibilities?

But I've realized that balance is not something that you really find. It's something you seek. As a gymnast once told me: standing on your hands is not some position you get into and hold. The muscles in your hands and arms and body are constantly adjusting and shifting in order to maintain that balance. You have to work for it.

I am a big believer in constantly re-evaluating how you do things, in order to make sure your life is working for you, and that you're not just running along in some groove that is ultimately unsatisfying. Mothers (and parents) have so many immediate needs to see to: make breakfast, wipe noses, hug after falls, drive to school, pack lunch, catch up with laundry, break up fights, brush teeth... Sometimes you discover you've had your head down all day and by the time your "writing time" rolls around, you're too exhausted to clean up after dinner... let alone write a novel!

At our house, we've tried lots of things in the quest for balance: scheduling writing time for the month, thinking of it as my "job" (even though I have yet to be paid for any of the hundreds of hours I've devoted to writing), and once--oh, joyful memory!--a weekend writing retreat.

Even with a super-supportive husband, it can be a struggle to make sure that I give writing the time it deserves. Those balance muscles are always working and readjusting. And, to be honest, sometimes balance goes out the window. On those days, I order a gluten-free pizza for dinner, put on a movie, and resolve to try again the next day.

I'd love to hear how others are making it happen. What do you do? How do you configure your life so that your dreams get time and attention?

Picture Book Wisdom

2010-02-02T23:28:00.001-08:00

I write YA books, but I am a huge fan of picture books. I always have been. I was in love with them as a child. I saved some of the gems from my childhood collection. I bought them for myself before I had children. And now I love reading them with my two kids.

Every now and then I come across a page or a quote that is very profound to me. I want to frame them and use them for daily inspiration. Here is one that I love:

There's a fabulous story called, THE KNIGHT WHO WAS AFRAID OF THE DARK by Barbara Shook Hazen. It is about a brave knight named Sir Fred who is not afraid of anything, except the dark. He ends up almost losing his love, Lady Wendlynn, because she asks him to meet her at midnight or never see her again. Sir Fred is extremely torn. He is terrified and full of anxiety. But he decides to go. Armed with his electric eel and a shield covered with fireflies, he grits his teeth and sets off through the dark to meet her. Here is how the author describes it that moment:

"His fear was great. But so was his love."

Isn't that AWESOME????

Have you ever been afraid of something? Like writing a novel? Like starting a new rough draft? Like revising? (Not that we're talking about me here...)

But then, when you realize that your LOVE for it is just as big as your fear... maybe even bigger. It's worth it! So! I am armoring myself with the spirit of Sir Fred today, and plunging into the dark of the unknown (ie- the plot of this new story.)

May you all have the courage you need to blaze forth with your writing. And may your love always be bigger than your fear!

The Wood Between the Worlds

2010-02-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

I am in an interesting in-between place with my writing right now. I am about to start another revision on my work-in-progress, a YA literary fantasy. I am excited to dive into the revision and take the book to the next level. I've received a lot of great feedback on the story, and I really feel like it's close.

There's just one problem...

I want to write another novel first.

No big deal, right? I'll just whip out another novel.

Should be no prob.

Ha!

I know it sounds crazy, but here's my plan: I am going to whiz through a rough draft in February. A lovely, lop-sided, possibly garishly bad, indulgent, from-the-gut first draft. I really feel like I need to. I've had a ton of ideas over the last year. I couldn't get to any of them because I had my nose to the grindstone, working on this other book. But I jotted all my ideas down, and now I'm ready to take one and develop it into a full length novel.

Then I will go back to my beloved first book and attempt to weave some revision magic.

I think it's possible. Don't you?

Here's the cool part: I don't know which idea is going to get to become a novel in February. That's a very exciting place to be!

Has anyone read THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW? I am a huge Narnia freak, so prepare yourselves for Narnia quotes and metaphors on a regular basis.

THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW (I know I don't have to say this, but: by C.S. Lewis) is my favorite book in the series. There's a wonderful scene where Digory and Polly end up in the Wood Between the Worlds. It's a tranquil, sleepy place full of trees and pools of water. Each pool leads to a totally different world. If you slip on a certain color ring and step into the pool, you will magically enter that world. There are times when Digory and Polly don't know which pool to go into. Their own world is in one of them. In another they find terrible danger. In another the very dawning of Narnia happens.

So that's where I feel like I'm standing right now. In the Wood Between the Worlds. I have about four big ideas. They are all completely different. And if I slip the magic ring on and step into one of the pools, I'll get to create a whole world--a brand new story will be born. But I have to pick one. That's the tricky part. You can't stay in the Wood Between the Worlds or you'll just fall asleep and fritter your life away. (ie- never write anything!) I have no idea what I'll find once I'm in that world. But that is the GLORY of writing, isn't it? There's a whole world to discover, if we're willing to slip the ring on and go for it.

So, it's time to choose a pool.

Wish me luck!

Why the heck do people blog?

2010-01-28T22:12:00.000-08:00

I used to think blogging was bizarre. I had to have it explained to me, very slowly, several times.

Me: “You mean, it’s like a web-site?”

My husband: “Kind of, but anyone can have one.”

Me: “And people write stories or something?”

My husband: “They can. Or they just write whatever they’re thinking about.”

Me: “And people read this?”

Every time I came to the same conclusion: Why?

Why should I care what some random person wants to blab about? I thought it sounded self-indulgent and… really kind of useless.

(Skip ahead a year or two.)

I started reading children’s literature blogs. I found dozens of intelligent, witty, helpful people out there who were blogging: writers, agents, editors, readers and others who love children’s books. And boy, were my eyes opened! I saw what a blog COULD be. I became like a kid in a blog candy store.

Here is what I discovered about the joys of reading kid-lit blogs:

First, it’s a way to learn. Many people out there are sharing practical, meaty advice on everything from writing a first draft, to managing your flourishing career. (Lists of my favorites coming soon.) There are interviews with agents, sample query letters, publication stories. I could go on and on! I truly feel like the kidlitosphere has been a huge contributor to my writing education.

Second, it’s a way to connect with other writers. This just in: Writing can be lonely! When you read the blogs of other writers you get to see their process and see how they handle things like: revision, first drafts, submissions & rejections. Plus, you get to see that you’re not alone on the writing roller coaster (the agony! the exhilaration! the drudgery! the glee!)

Third, it’s just plain fun. When you get to peek into Mo Willems’s dining room and see the chalkboard walls or read Libba Bray’s hilarious journal, you realize: this stuff is better than TV.

So, this has been the tale of how I transformed from a Blog Cynic into a Blog Lover.

Cheers!

Bonafide Hurler

2010-01-27T22:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! Hello!

What fun to be entering the blog world! I am happy to be joining the ranks of other children's literature bloggers. As the title suggests, I am an aspiring novelist, a proud, playful mama, and a relentless dreamer. I plan to talk about all of the above in between writing one novel and revising another, driving my kids to school, and keeping an ear cocked toward other dreams and imaginings.

So! If you enjoy any of these things, I hope you will say hello!

I must admit that it took me a long time to come around the idea of blogging. Partly because I am a chronic editor. I edit my one-sentence e-mails. I edit my grocery lists. I edit things after I've just spoken them aloud...

And I worried that I'd spend all my free time (aka: WRITING time) perfecting my thoughts and sentences for a blog.

Guess what folks? NOT gonna do it.

I'm going to try to play a little bit fast and loose. I'll share things I learn about writing, about the publishing universe, about the wonder of children, and about the magic of following your heart and your passions. Those are the things that matter most to me. And I think they'll be FUN to write about.

So, I'm just going to dive in.

I should come out and say something right away. I come to the field of writing by way of the theatre. And many of the things I learned in acting school have had an enormous effect on my writing. So, here is the first thing I will share.

On the first day of grad school, my wonderful teacher, Steve Pearson told us about his acting teacher. His acting teacher had told him years before that there were only two kinds of actors: "hurlers and non-hurlers." And the only kind of actors he was interested in were the hurlers.

You can imagine what that means. People who throw themselves whole-heartedly into a role. People who are fearless. People who take unbelievable chances in rehearsal and on stage. People who love it so much they don't care if they make big mistakes. People who may not know exactly how it's going to turn out, but they are sure as hell going to put their whole being into it.

On that day, I quietly acknowledged to myself that I was indeed a hurler. I knew it was true. And I was very proud. And though I don't act or perform as often as I once did, I now hurl myself joyfully into writing. I hurl myself into playing make-believe with my little ones. I hurl myself into LIFE with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism.

And I think I just hurled myself right into the blogging world.

Thanks for listening!